"Game of Thrones" - Ultimate Birthday Rap Battle | Текст песни

• Тексты песен
• "Game of Thrones"
• Ultimate Birthday Rap Battle

Welcome to Kind’s Landing, a city of kings and whores where everything can happen.
Yes, quite right.
Do be careful, ‘cause shit’s about to get real’
Do be careful, ‘cause shit’s about to get real’

Hoooo
Well, I’m the fuckin’ King
Robert Baratheon, wrathful and nasty
When I drop the fuckin’ hammer, invade like a pathogen
Now gimme three whores, so I can smack that ass again
And build a bigger orphanage to put all my bastards in.

Me wife’s a brother-fucker and a straight-up bitch
Who gave me three blonde shits, but her daddy is rich
Wine!
All this arse-lickin’’s makin’ me sick I thank the gods that a boar put a tusk through my pancreas.

CERSEI: I gestated my bro’s DNA...
TYRION: Not mine.
CERSEI: ...throught my inbred kids were okay
But I’m afraid that...
NED: Joffrey is a half-wit, demented, sadistic piece of shit.

JOFFREY: You better say that I’m the king or I’ll chop of your head I’ll put your genitals in the genital jar I keep in a drawer beside my bed.
SANSA: Your grace.
JOFFREY: Yes, give her a gift, hit her in the face.
Women are so weak and weary bring her back when she has her period.
Burn the traitors, crush the North, kill the babies, fuck the poor,
I’m so bored with cutting out tongues, but I’m gettin’ it down, mutilating whores.
MARGAERY: Is this yours?
JOFFREY: Yes, it is.
MARGAERY: Talk about killing, I love that shit.
Stabbing, hacking, blood and guts.
JOFFREY: Hold on, I’m about to jizz.

VARYS: Sadly, I cannot.
PYCELLE: No jizz, quite right.
BAELISH: A sorcerer cut off your junk, we know. At least it wasn’t your head.
VARYS: Poor Ned Stark. What will the North do?
PYCELLE: My jizz is like baking soda.
VARYS: The Stark bannermen?
BAELISH: Why are they so fucking happy?

ROBB: Yeah, yeah! We fight for independence, it’s a glorious day
‘cause I married for love, and it’s cool with the Freys
Yeah, we’re heading to a wedding, gonna party today
And I’m gonna be a dad? God, everything’s great!

CATELYN: Winter is coming.
ROBB: So we’ll hang out inside!
CATELYN: But Winterfell burned down, Robb
ROBB: Look on the bright side. Lemme hear my Starks: are we doin’ alright?

BRAN: Father’s dead, we’re homeless, and I’m crippled for life.
RICKON: I’m hungry.
ARYA: I’m alone in the middle of a war.
SANSA: I love the gay boy, but I married the dwarf.

ROBB: See that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout, we’re havin’ a ball.
LYSA: I’m gonna breastfeed Robin ‘til my breasts fall off.
ROBB: Brienne, how’s it going with the Kingslayer?
BRIENNE: Rapists have me and I’m fighting a bear!
ROBB: Cool! How’s it hangin’, Theon?
THEON: Realy bad!
ARYA: I met a lady who had demons in her wag!

EVERYBODY: We are the North Side, ey! Doin’ it our own way!
ROBB: Hey, it’s my boy - Jon Snow! What up, Jon?

SAMWELL: Um, hello. We’ve got a bit of a problem at the Wall.
It’s... It’s a bit nippy... and...
JON SNOW: This fuckin’ Whitewalkers!
Shit’s crazy, I’m freezin’ to death with Thieves and rapers,
Had to swear off sex if I could take it back, I’d take the black
Shove it up Craster’s ass, but it’s too late for that,
With zombies surgin’ south.

SAMWELL: I’m out.
JON SNOW: I’m gonna die a virgin now,
But wo-day, they was a wild woman took me into a cave, got undressed
SAMWELL: You saw breasts?
JON SNOW: Yeah, and we had... Cave sex!
SAMWELL: Cave sex?
JON SNOW: Yeah, cave sex!
SAMWELL: You knew where to put it!
JON SNOW: Oh, cave sex!
SAMWELL: I forgot to send the ravens.
JON SNOW: I’m havin’ cave sex!
SAMWELL: Cave sex!

VARYS: Seven hells
ROBB: Who is that?
ROBERT: It’s the Targaryen girl
JOFFREY: Sound the alarms!
ROBERT: She’s come to take back the Seven Kingdoms.
ROBB: Well, it’s more like six Kingdoms now.
JOFFREY: Hide me with the children!
ROBB: You know since