Come all ye, desperados, here tonight in this dark place I hope you like the music. Ah, sure I see that's the case Forgive this interruption. Well, I know you can't refuse I've learned the scale of ABC and I've started on the flute I listened to tapes of jigs and reels for 30 years or more I danced a bit around the house and I battered on the floor But when it came to music I was particulary mute And that's another reason why I've started on the flute When I tried the bags-and-bellows once, I've thought they might suit me-e To sit there like a peacock with a chanter on my kne-e But all I got were squeaks and groans, which wasn't very cool And that's another reason there was nothing for it, but the flute I went out and bought.. a fiddle And I also bought a bow "She's the queen of all the instruments", the experts say, you know. But, when I started scrapping, throughout the door they'd scoot And so to my misfortune then I've started on the flute Well, the flute it is a timber yoke with six holes in a row And another hole that's bigger still and that's the one you blo-ow You hold the thing in your two hands and you give it a good old toot 'Tis a simple operation when you're starting on the flute Well.. some lads play it gentle and there's other lads play it loud Some concentrate on embouchure while others merely pout But I've a simple technique that I haven't told a soul I mime to the latest flute album and pretend it is my own