The Battle of Epping Forest - Selling England by the Pound (1973)
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Along the forest road, there's hundreds of cars - luxury cars Each has got its load of convertible bars, cutlery cars - superscars! For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out 'cos they disagree on a gangland boundary Cos they disagree on a gangland boundary There's Willy Wright and his boys-one helluva noise, that's Billy's boys With fully-fashioned mugs, that's Little John's thugs, the Barking Slugs - supersmugs! For today is the day when they sort it out, sort it out Yes, these Christian soldiers fight to protect the poor East-edn heroes got to score in the battle of Epping Forest yes it's the Battle of Epping Forest right outisde your door No, you ain't seen nothing like it No, you ain't seen nothing like it not since the Civil war Coming over the hill are the boys of Bill and Johnny's lads stand very still With the thumpire's shout, they all start to clout -there's no guns in this gentlemen's bout Georgie moves in on the outside left with a chain flying round his head and Harold Demure, from Art Leterature nips up the nearest tree (Here come the cavalry!) Amidst the battle roar accountants keep the score: 10-4 They've never been alone, after getting a radiophone the bluebells are ringing fro Sweetmeal Sam, real ham handing out bread and jam just like any picnic, picnic, picnic, picnic It's 5-4 on William Wright; he made his pile on Derby night Wehn Billy was a kid, walking the streets, the other kids hid-so they did! Now, after working in security trade, he's got it made The shops that need aid are those that haven't paid "I do my double-show quick!" said Mick the Prick, fresh out of the nick "I sell cheap holiday. The minute they leave, then A visity I pay - and it does pay!" And his friend, Liquid Len by neame, of Wine Women and Wandsworth fame said "I"m breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed! I'm breaking the legs of the bastard that got me framed! Got me framed!" They called me the reverand when I entered the church unstained My employers have change but the name has remained It all began when I went on a tour hoping to find some furniture Followed a sign saying, "beautiful chest" led to a lady who showed me her best She was taken by surprise wehn I quickly closed my eyes So she rang the bell, and quick as hell Bob the Nob came out of his job to see what the trouble was "Louise, is the Reverend hard to please?" "You're telling me!" "Perhaps, sir, if it's not too lat, we could interest you in our old-fashioned Staffordshire plate?" "Oh no, not for me, I'm a man of repute." But the Devil caught hold of my sould and a voice called out, "SHOOT!" To save my steeple, I visited people for this I had gone when I met Little John His name came, I understand when the Judge said, "you're a robbing hood" He told me of his strange foundation conceived on sight of the Woodstock nation he'd had to hide his reputation When poor, 'twas salvation from door to door But now, with a pin-up guru every week it was Love, Peace & Truth Incorperated for all who seek He employed me as a karmamechanic, with overal charms His hands were then fit to receive, receive alms. That's why we're in... Battle of Epping Forest yes, it's the Battle of Epping Forest, right outside your door We guard your souls for peanuts and we guard your shops and houses for just a little more... In with a left hook is the Bethnal Gree Butcher but he's countered on the right by Mick's chaingang fight and Liquid Len, with his smashed bottle men, is lobbing Bob