Now there's all sorts of medicines that you can buy No matter what ailment you've got But I know a special one you ought to try You'll find it's the best of the lot
It's my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy it's guaranteed never to fail That's the stuff that will do the trick It's sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
Now if you've got lumbago, rheumatics or gout, Or a pain in your Robert E. Lee Don't kick up a shindy, you'll never get windy With my Auntie Maggie's Remedy
If you set your alarm clock for eight in the morning You're bound to wake up I'll agree But I'll bet you by heaven, you'll wake up at seven With my Auntie Maggie's Remedy
In a young lady's bedroom I went by mistake My intentions were honest you see She shouted with laughter, "I know what you're after It's my Auntie Maggie's Remedy."
Oh my Auntie Maggie's home made remedy, It's guaranteed never to fail That's the stuff that will do the trick It's sold at every chemist for "one and a kick".
Now when the baby starts crying, there's always a reason And if you inspect him you'll see, The poor little chappy has covered his nappy With Auntie Maggie's Remedy
Now I went to a doctor, I wasn't too well And he made me lie on a settee He said "There's trouble brewing, you've been overdoing Your Auntie Maggie's Remedy."
Now I know a girl who was putting on weight, In a spot where it just shouldn't be So I said to Nellie, "Now you rub your - ankle, With Auntie Maggie's Remedy."