Now every year about July, When summer time comes round, There's lots and lots of people, At the seaside to be found.
Some play golf or tennis, Others like to take a rest, But here's the kind of exercise, That I enjoy the best;
Chorus 1:
When I go swimin' with the wimmin', Ee I do have a real good time.
Bobbing up and down in the water, It comes just below my Mason Dixon line.
To see the ladies do their exercises, You wouldn't think that, Half of them were slimming.
And when the girls stand up to sneeze, You can see their housemaids knees. If you go swimmin' with the wimmin'.
Verse 2:
Now even when I am at home, And working day to day, I always do look forward, To my half day holiday.
The people don't invite me out, They know my half day's fixed, I go out to the baths that day, Because the bathing's mixed.
Chorus 2:
When I go swimin' with the wimmin', Ee I do have a real good time.
Bobbing up and down in the water, With a pretty girl, Whose name is Adeline.
You ought to see, Her latest bathing costume; It's nothing but, A little bit of trimming.
And what I took to be her face, Turned out to be a different place, When I went swimmin' with the wimnin'.
Chorus 3:
One day I went in, With some of my relations, And someone went, And pushed my Uncle Jim in.
He came up gasping, For his breath and shouted; "What a lovely death, To die when swimmin', With the wimmin!'
Chorus 4:
Once I went swimmin' with the wimmin', And I did feel a big soft thing. A woman went and fainted in the water, And where she disappeared it left a ring.
So I jumped in, With nearly all my clothes on, And swam until my eyesight, Started dimming.
And after fighting for my life, I found I'd gone and saved the wife, So I've chucked swimmin' with the wimmin'.