Pardon me, is everybody here? Because if everybody's here, I Want to thank you all for coming to the wedding, I'd appreciate Your going even more, I mean you must have lots of better things To do, and not a word of this to Will, remember Will, you know, The man I'm gonna marry, but I'm not, because I wouldn't ruin Anyone as wonderful as he is Thank you all For the gifts and the flowers, Thank you all, Now it's back to the showers, Don't tell Will, But I'm not getting married today.
Listen, everybody, look, I don't know what you're waiting for, A wedding, what's a wedding, it's a prehistoric ritual Where everybody promises fidelity forever, which is Maybe the most horrifying word I ever heard of, which is Followed by a honeymoon, where suddenly he'll realize he's Saddled with a nut, and wanna kill me, which he should Thanks a bunch, But I'm not getting married Go have lunch, 'Cause I'm not getting married You've been grand, But I'm not getting married Don't just stand there, I'm not getting married-- And don't tell Will, But I'm not getting married today.
Go, can't you go? Why is no- Body listening? Goodbye Go and cry At another person's wake If you're quick For a kick You could pick Up a christening But please On my knees There's a human life at stake!
Listen everybody, I'm afraid you didn't hear, or do you want to See a crazy lady fall apart in front of you, it isn't only Will Who may be ruining his life, you know we'll both of us be losing Our identities, I telephoned my analyst about it and he said to See him Monday, but by Monday I'll be floating in the Hudson with The other garbage I'm not well, So I'm not getting married You've been swell, But I'm not getting married Clear the hall, 'Cause I'm not getting married Thank you all, But I'm not getting married And don't tell Will, But I'm not getting married today.
Bless this bride Totally insane Slipping down the drain And bless this day in our hearts As it starts To rain
Today is for Go, can't you go? |Emma, Look, you know |Emma, I adore you all |I give you But why |The rest of Watch me die |My life, Like Eliza on the ice? |To cherish Look, perhaps |And to keep you, I'll collapse |To honor you In the apse |Forever, Right before you all, |Today is for Emma, So take |My happily Back the cake, |Soon-to-be Burn the shoes and boil the rice. |Wife, Look, I didn't wanna have to |My adorable Tell you, but I may be coming |Wife. Down with Hepatitis, and I Think I'm gonna faint, so if You wanna see me faint, I'll Do it happily, but wouldn't It be funnier to go and watch A funeral, so thank you for the Twenty-seven dinner plates, Thirty-seven butter knives, Forty-seven paperweights, Fifty-seven candleholders
One more thing
I am not getting married!
Amen!
Softly said
But I'm not getting married!
Amen!
With this ring
Still I'm not getting married!
Amen!
I thee wed.
See, I'm not getting married!
Amen!
Let us pray Let us pray That we are getting married | That I'm not getting married Today! | Today!