Good With Anything - I Must Scream | Текст песни

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• Good With Anything
• I Must Scream

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Blood on my tongue suggests that I have not spoken and it will stay that way until everyone learns to take initiative to calm down and consider another opinion, but I have a really strong feeling that won't happen anytime soon.

I wake up in the same motion, eyes open, mind that's broken. Broken mind, broken speech, broken everything. I am not speechless because of another's startling statements. The lack of speech stems from the lack of trust in the stems between my mind and my mouth. So how do I fix this? I'm only human. I can only take so much before my body breaks and I'm let standing speechless again.

"Being ignorant is not so much a shame as being unwilling to learn."
This particular quote hits me in a certain way, perhaps due to how relatable, how parallel, it is with my life. I was not one for motivated self-learning, perhaps of a never ending list of excuses: crippling laziness; absentmindedness; fear of optional, unnecessary work. Pick your social poison, because I believe that my ignorance dictates how fucked I am in a social context. A display of intelligence usually attracts like-minded individuals, and a single misinterpretation can ruin that connection. Such has been my case for probably a number of years; it's just that I have never had this level of self-awareness before. Ironically, this social self-awareness itself might have caused me to become entrapped in my own shell. Back then, I would stupidly blurt out whatever was on my mind, carefree and somewhat confident. Now, I watch myself as symptoms of a broken confidence take their course; jumping the gun; stuttering/hypoglossal complications; agreeing/disagreeing with whatever just to get through the conversation; hell, making efforts to pretend I didn't see someone, but on a daily basis. The latter of this list seems shitty, right? But it indicates something. I'm scared of conflict. More generally, I'm scared of people. With their opinions more firm than mine, I'll cower to almost any opposition. I won't speak. I'll stutter once again, but recently I was faced with an opposition so greatly against my beliefs that I confidently, firmly, strongly listed reasons contrary to theirs. No sentiment. Just belief. The sentiment followed afterwards, as they decided to ignore the argument entirely. I was bummed by this, but strangely optimistic. There was a small hope. Maybe I can hold my own.

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