Third grade, in Miss Adams’ class; An emotionally scarring time that I’m still trying to forget. It’s not like I was loser. It’s not like I didn’t pass. See, it has to do with what happened to Jorge. Our class pet. We had this tradition, on every Friday One of us was picked to take him home. Exciting, right?
So I finally asked Miss Adams “Could this be my day?” I thought “maybe if I’m verbal I could go home with this gerbil tonight.” My dad was allergic, my mom was muriphobic. It’s a real thing. I knew exactly what this situation would require. My mom showed up at carpool, I stuffed Jorge in my pocket But forgot about him ‘til our nanny found him in the dryer… Whoops! I faked sick the whole next week, Too afraid to tell all my friends that poor Jorge was dead. Katie Thompson told me that killers burn in hell But Miss Adams took my hand and she said
“Oh, Life goes on. Things will be okay. Though Jorge’s gone, tomorrow is a brand new day. Everyone makes a couple mistakes Somewhere along the way.”
College graduation, that momentous life shift. Watching the guys in my frat ask my grandma out on dates. My dad hands me this paper, his graduation gift: The only documentation of his parent’s immigration to the states. He looked at me with pride and said “I’d like for you to have it ‘cause your heritage can teach you More than what you learn in class.” Well I misplaced the paper, But that night at Beta’s party My friend was drunk and found it Just in time to wipe his- You see where this is going.
We packed the car and headed home And things were fine ‘til I told my family Their gift had been…Stained. Grandma said a prayer for me. Mom began to cry. But my father stopped the car and explained,
“Oh, Life goes on. Things will be okay.” Though our family history is crapped upon Tomorrow is a brand new day. Everyone makes a couple mistakes Somewhere along the way.”
Looking back I can’t pretend That I don’t see the trend I’m not dependable I’m aware; I can’t take care of things. Well aware what being careless brings. See, Jorge and the paper are just samples, Small examples, of mistakes I made and stupid things I did. That’s why I’m so afraid to raise a kid. So, why would you choose me to raise a kid?
What if I drop him? What if things don’t turn out okay? What if I forget to feed him? What if I start to need him And he goes away? What if I make just one mistake Somewhere along the way?