If I recall correctly It was the middle of spring Walkin with my boys Contemplating what summer will bring We started talking about girls And it was the funniest thing As I started to remember some of my funniest flings
See there was Ashley, She caught my eye the very second as she passed me I kissed her once Then she started to harass me She called all night long I had to buy a brand new phone
And let me see There was Melanie To have a mouth like that should be a felony Wouldn't believe half the shit that she was telling me I mean dirty vocab She used to talk like she was crunk
And after that was Tiffany The one with the cute cousin Are you kiddin' me? She had a man But that didn't mean shit to me He tried to catch us all the time But I was just too goddamn smooth
And I can't forget to mention Carrie But that situation quickly got scary Cuz after 2 days she was like lets get married Can you believe that shit? I had to pack my bags and move!
They say I gotta change my evil ways And I'm working hard at it every day but No matter what i do I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm trying not to If love is just a game that people play And practice makes perfect is what they say but No matter what I do I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm trying not to
I'll always remember Monica The Jewish chick She'd always give me gifts for Chanukkah To meet her folks she tried to make me rock a Yhomica But she looked so damn good She almost made my ass convert
And after that there was Lisa She had a twin sister, Teresa I bumped into them at Cam's getting pizza The greatest night of my life Schlep's "The Rock that Killed Two Birds"
And there was Erica She had the stankest breath in North America, I tried to slip her tic tac's But they were scared of her And when we made out I always had to plug my nose
And I suppose you know your sister Shoot, I swear by hand and God I only kissed her I gotta foot fetish But she gotta lota blisters I mean hammer time feet You'd think she had dead bugs for toes
They say I gotta change my evil ways And I'm working hard at it every day but No matter what I do I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm trying not to If love is just a game that people play And practice make perfect is what they say but No matter what I do I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm trying not to
Yo Matt, Remember Catherine? She talked so much I used to make her bring me aspirin Bla, bla bla bla I'm doing fine thanks for asking I even tried to make a muzzle But her mouth just would not quit
Oh Shit Remember Shauna? I hate to bring her up again I didn't wanna That girl I talked about In that "Girl's A Dog" song Yeah, the poster girl for Paxil Almost made me lose my grip
And oh shit There was Krystal The meth head She used to sniff like a fist full One time she chased me down the street with a pistol She tried to say I took her stash She bugged out and tried to kill my ass
And at last we got Kimmy She went abroad Came back And broke up with me And so I ripped up all the letters that she sent me I cried for like 3 days Then it was back to my evil ways
They say I gotta change my evil ways And I'm working hard at it every day but No matter what I do I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm trying not to If love is just a game that people play And practice make perfect is what they say but No matter what I do I seem to make the same mistakes that I'm trying not to
They say I gotta change my evil ways And I'm working hard at it every day but No matter what I do I seem to make the same mistakes