Some people don’t know how to walk on the pavement these days Well it’s not that difficult, there’s hardly a whole host of ways Here they come, love’s young dream, arm in arm, approaching me Now, I’m not looking for your smile I’m just asking for some single file But it’s not forthcoming so I have to assume That this narrow path belongs to you And therefore you must be The Duke of Westminster and his good lady wife So, I tell you what, I’ll just walk in the road How about I just walk in the road? You stay as you are, and I’ll just walk in the road Well I feel I’m being cornered by a bloke who’s just discovered Johnny Cash He’s pissed and he’s boring and he’s telling me all about the Man in Black It seems the “Best Of” purchase at the superstore Is indisputably the soundtrack for A weekend in Riga with heavy drinking rugby pals And I reckon him to be, the type of driver to beckon me Across the road with an index finger When at the kerb I linger He should not presume my intentions He should invite me with an outstretched palm After all I could be reading the grid Or standing aside for the Duke and his wife Either way I’ll not simply just walk in the road for you I’ll cross in my own good time when I feel There’s nothing in the outside lane To run me over I keep a wristwatch on this arm of mine I keep my flies wide open all the time And I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die