It’s nearly eleven thirty and at this point we are sharing a bus seat across the city. Unlike you, she’s shy and sweet, and for the first time, all I can think of are all the things that I don’t need. I don’t need you and I don’t need sleep. For much of the ride she pries into why I keep others at an arm’s length I explain I’ve learned having burned it’s best to keep the flames at bay. She says she understands, extending her hand, suggests ‘it helps if you start small’. I take a deep breath and one small step toward letting my defenses fall. And to think of all the wasted time I’d spent paralyzed, too terrified to let anybody else in. When we’re side by side, I’m that much more brave, and it’s been a while since I’d felt so safe. I don’t know the time, but I know it’s late, and I’m so awake that at this rate I could be up for days. It’s getting early into the morning when we both agree it’s too late to leave. We kick off my shoes to rest our feet, and it’s just as well since I’m in too deep To make the walk home in quiet defeat and remember you as I fall asleep. (I don’t need you and I don’t need…) And now it’s quarter of three, and at this point we are burned out and stretched out across her love-seat. With her hair grazing my cheek for the first time, all I can think of are all the things that I don’t need. I don’t need you and I don’t need sleep.
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