I.. I feel like a mouth facilitating the language constructed by the mind of depression, a vocal confirmation that I have diluted my ambition to accommodate my aggression.
Watered down prayer requests to a sky painted blue, like the ocean of my heart. Settled for what I detest to a lie that the truth kept us apart. With a sea between hope and me I lack the ability to figure out where to start, letting fear sit in the driver's seat a hearse to comfort me as I drive back to insanity with heart.
Disconnected from the discontent strategies de-straddled the child inside of me, feeding greens to the malnourished spirit I identified myself as. A heart of glass, fragile enough to break but once put on display it doesn't hurt so bad.
Cause some moments I felt sick. I felt poisoned. But other moments I was asleep.. It was a day I felt chosen but through self-torment; I was knee-deep in a sinking sand called grief. Feeling let down by my poor decisions I felt in eternity without you, was one not worth living? I hope to some day have enough faith to believe in God as much as he believes in me.
I hope to someday have the faith to believe in God, as much as he believes in me..
After years of feeling inadequate to the bars set by those superior to me. I found strength but not in the place that I was looking. Investing monetary value into the half-truth of pharmaceuticals being quiet, a ghost. I finally became accepting of myself as part of the solution, no more of that pointless appointment booking..
I surrendered control to the heart burning inside of me and let my passion drive till I was done completely. Done completely out of the hole and gained back control, safe from the cold, feeling back home or maybe feeling home for the first time.
Because for the first time in a long time, I felt alive. I felt the ability to strive. I felt like there was odds stacked for me and love was on my side.
Everybody has the strength to do great things as long as we don't compromise for a world of things, darling you deserve so much more than what this world has given you, I promise it's true; and if you see it through you can do anything, anything that you set your heart too.
I've been to the lowest point beyond anything I ever did foresee and with the power of love and ambition I found myself back into a place of peace. And you are deserving of authenticity and legitimacy and the riveting awakening that can only be found through the love and defeat of a beautiful king. No tyranny, no family holding you together as the wounds heal.
You are deserving of so much more than what this world is offering. You are deserving of so much more than what this world is offering..
You're deserving of the love of a beautiful king.