Jade: Who me, drunk? *giggles and hiccups* Nooope I’m not drunk!
Dave: *sighs* You totally are drunk. Let’s get you home, where’s your car?
Jade: Over thereeeee. *she hands him the keys*
Dave: Okay let’s go. Can you walk? Of course you can’t, you nearly fell. Hold on.
*He proceeds to pick Jade up bridal style*
Jade: *gasps* what are you doing?
Dave: Shoosh, I’m taking care of you.
Dave: *sounds of car doors opening and closing* Okay so mind telling me why you’re drunk?
Jade: Noooope.
*they’re driving for about 2 minutes or so*
Dave: Okay. Look we’re here. *more car door sounds, then a doorbell.* Damnit where is John I can’t leave you here by yourself drunk!
Jade: He’s out with Rose! You have to stay with me Davey *giggles*
Dave: *groans then the sound of keys unlocking the door and footsteps, and another door opening* Okay Jadehere’s your bed, you get changed and I’ll go get you some wa- hey what are you doing let me go!
Jade: *has wrapped her legs around Dave’s waist* Nuh uh.
Dave: Jade, I can’t do this to you right now.
Jade: Shuddup Dave I want this, I want you. *sounds of her kissing his neck*
Dave: *moans* Jade don’t bite there-ohhh
Jade: *giggles* Oh you like that? *creaking bed*
Dave: No I can’t, you need to sto- *is cut off by a kiss*
Jade: Dave you talk way too much.
*more kissing sounds, then the sounds of clothes being removed*
Jade: Oh Dave please just *moans* oh yeah that feels good do that again!
Dave: *whispers* Jade…
Dave and Jade: *gasps/moans/groans/pants/sex noises/name screaming etc, actors’ choice, orgasm* *heavy breathing afterwards*
Jade: Dave?
Dave: Mmm?
Jade: *whispers* It’s ridiculously easy to fake being drunk.