GASTON: There's a danger I'll be thwarted And denied my honeymoon For the pretty thing I've courted Refuse to swoon So, the time has come for a murky plan For which I turn to a murky man
LEFOU: To find that feind
BOTH: Where better than The Maison des Lunes?
GASTON: I don't take this girl for granted There's no path I haven't hewn To her heart; no seed unplanted No flowers unstrewn But quite amazing to relate She doesn't want me for her mate
LEFOU: Which forces him to contemplate
BOTH: The Maison des Lunes Monsieur D'Arque: I don't wish to seem a tad obtuse But I don't see how I can be of use For I lock people up; I'm not a "Lonely Heart's club" I'm a cold, cold fish I've a nasty, vicious streak
LEFOU: Please speak!
GASTON: It's Belle's father who's your client She adores the old buffoon She'll be forced to be complaint
LEFOU: She'll dance to your tune
GASTON: We get the daughter through her dad You just pronounce the old boy mad
LEFOU: And, whoosh! He's slammed up in your pad--
LEFOU, D'ARQUE: The Maison des Lunes
GASTON: Do I make myself entirely clear?
D'ARQUE: It's the simplest deal of my whole foul career!
GASTON: Put Maurice away and she'll be here in moments In a dreadful state She'll capitulate to me!
D'ARQUE: I'll be strapping up an inmate
LEFOU: Very tightly
GASTON: Very soon
D'ARQUE: But please don't bring him late Our check-in time's noon!
LEFOU, D'ARQUE: So, wave one bachelor goodbye
GASTON: She'll be my bride
LEFOU: She'd rather die Than have her daddy ossify?
D'ARQUE: In my sordid saloon
ALL: So book the church; raise the glasses high To the Maison des Lunes!