Sometimes this life is not what you expect it to be You've got to play your cards right, if you're to earn the life you need I thought I had it figured all out, so went ahead and let it all out What I know is that it's my doubt eating me alive
Every night I fall asleep, my palms pressed and well-dressed, Every day I'm waking up, and I feel like such a mess, So I regress, regret, pretend to give a grin, But I guess that life's a pain when you live a life of sin And where do I begin, cuz I don't know my own story, Getting out of nightmare's all I like about these mornings. So baby do it for me, even kissing's too much work, If I thought I had a prayer, then my knees would hit the dirt,
And I feel a deeper thirst sometimes, an urge to make this right, To write a song that simplifies and evens out my life, But I know that's not inside of me, I'll sacrifice my muse, As the blood drains out of faces, then I'll give into abuse, Misuse the way they look at me, the way they love this life, She'll understand temptation when she looks into my eyes, But I'm wearing thin disguise with the lies we all believe, Cuz the things I whisper softly only force my own defeat
Sometimes this life is not what you expect it to be You've got to play your cards right, if you're to earn the life you need I thought I had it figured all out, so went ahead and let it all out What I know is that it's my doubt eating me alive
It seems that I've been stressing, and I think sometimes I'm letting Too much get to me, pretend to be okay, but my obsession with My doubts and my regrets been causing all of my depression Sorry but I'm confessing I'm lost, I can't find directions, I'm talking but can you hear me? I'ts been eating me alive inside I try to hide the fact that all my pride has died, I gotta find a nine to five to keep me and my mom alive But why should I be stuck in this position? Is it not a sign? And I work so hard just to ignore it, make these feelings be distorted So I crush the pill and snort it, feel euphoric, I adore it Can't deal with all my problems, worry 'bout 'em in the morning Doing poorly, surely I was born with horns as a forewarning I feel scorned and unimportant, in this horror story Man, I'm sorry, I prolly gave you reason to destroy me But the fact is I don't care cuz you never did nothing for me Thought I dodged the rain, not surprised that it's been storming, Cuz..
Sometimes this life is not what you expect it to be You've got to play your cards right, if you're to earn the life you need I thought I had it figured all out, so went ahead and let it all out What I know is that it's my doubt eating me alive
So what if I'm bi-polar, it's not the person that I chose to be Personality disorder just makes it hard to find the real in me So I'm constantly just brushin' off the fakeness to take this Life for all it's worth, since the point of my birth It's just been gettin' worse, downed emotions nursed, From the pits of this selfishness, dwellin' in the hell I'm in, It's the sentiment from broken hymns that has these wrists enticed by slits, And I'm so sick of it, this sickness that I'm livin' with These twisting fits within my ribs push me to the point I get So violent, so angry, wish someone would save me, Cause in my own mind I'm just not worth the trouble So do us all a favor and pour some gas then flick a match onto this rubble.
Sometimes this life is not what you expect it to be You've got to play your cards right, if you're to earn the life you need I thought I had it figured all out, so went ahead and let it all out What I know is that it's my doubt eating me alive