(Violent J) I was never popular this I'll admit fuck school never liked me Goo! All the kids would always beat me until I'm half dead Make fun of the size of my forehead But that shit never bothered me Mama and Mother They had a lot of property They had a science lab in the basement And that's where my free ti...well, my time was spent I made a mouse with a chicken head It clucked three times: CLUCK, CLUCK, CLUCK! And then it was dead I made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck Gobblegobblegobble, it was the shit (yeah) But I'm still lonely, I need a homie So I collected limbs and made a zombie I could've made a girlie friend But fuck that, I got my girlie right here...yeah!
(Chorus) You can call me Mad Professor I will make a friend for me You can call me Mad Professor We will rule eternity
(Violent J) I used so many body parts it was crazy I killed a whole bunch of mother fuckers , like what, eighty? They all chipped in on my special friend Everything helps, Even if you got a finger to lend, come on I hear the other children playing outside "Keep it down you little bitches, I'll skin your fucking hides!" ?Stressful?, this part is wack Some how I gots to attach this nut sack Shit! Fuck! I'm sawing off an elbow Looking at the meter I'm like ?Quasar and Ziphalo? Or better yet look out the fucking window I see a storms coming, almost time to roll Screw the head on, come on, come on It's the thuggish, ruggish, bone Okay it's time, hit the switch, turn it up a hert Fuck! Shit! Didn't work
(Chorus)
It wasn't always easy (Hell no!) let me tell ya But fuck that, cause I ain't no failure I put the shit with the ?things? and this with that Wait a minute...(brrrt) did you hear that? It's alive! I just gotta wake it up Hand me that ?rocky rye? pour it in a cup It will do exactly...hold up, pause I ain't cleaning his draws man, fuck that Get him fat, get him ready, it's almost time Paint his ugly face up just like mine I see him twitching, I'm on a roll He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival Turn the hertz all the way up for this shit And just wait for that lightning bolt to hit Did it work? You make the call Shaggy? (What up, y'all!)