BAKER (To Jack) It's because of you there's a Giant in our midst and my Wife is dead!
JACK But it isn't my fault, I was given those beans! You persuaded me to trade away My cow for beans! And without those beans There'd have been no stalk To get up to the Giants In the first place!
BAKER Wait a minute, magic beans For a cow so old That you had to tell A lie to sell It, which you told! Were they worthless beans? Were they oversold? Oh, and tell us who Persuaded you To steal that gold.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Jack) See, it's your fault.
JACK No!
BAKER So it's you fault...
JACK No!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Yes, it is!
JACK It's not!
BAKER It's true.
JACK Wait a minute- But I only stole the gold To get my Cow back from you!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Baker) So it's your fault!
JACK Yes!
BAKER No, it isn't! I'd have kept those beans, But our house was cursed. She made us get the cow to get The curse reversed!
WITCH It's you father's fault That the curse got placed And the place got cursed In the first place!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Oh. Then it's his fault!
WITCH So.
CINDERELLA It was his fault...
JACK No.
BAKER Yes, it is, It's his.
CINDERELLA I guess...
JACK Wait a minute, though- I chopped down the beanstalk- Right? That's clear. But without any beanstalk, Then what's queer Is how did the second Giant get down here In the first place?
Second place...
CINDERELLA Yes!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD How?
BAKER Hmmm...
JACK Well, Who had the other bean?
BAKER The other bean?
CINDERELLA The other bean?
JACK (To Baker) You pocketed the other bean.
BAKER I didn't! Yes I did.
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD So it's your-!
BAKER No, it isn't, 'Cause I gave it to my Wife!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD So it's her-!
BAKER No, it isn't!
CINDERELLA Then whose is it?
BAKER (To Cinderella) Wait a minute! She exchanged that bean To ontain your shoe, So the one who knows what happened To that bean is you!
CINDERELLA You mean that old bean- That your Wife-? Oh, dear- But I nvere knew, And so I threw- Well, don't look here!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD So it's your fault!
CINDERELLA But-
JACK See, it's her fault-
CINDERELLA But-
JACK And it isn't mine at all!
BAKER (To Cinderella) But what?
CINDERELLA (To Jack) Well, if you hadn't gone Back up again-
JACK We were needy-
CINDERELLA You were greedy! Did you need that hen?
JACK But I got it for my Mother-!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD So it's her fault then!
CINDERELLA Yes? And what the harp In the third place?
BAKER Ther harp- yes!
JACK She went and dared me to!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD I dared you to?
JACK You dared me to! She said t hat I was scared-
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Me?
JACK To. She dared me!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD No, I didn't!
BAKER, CINDERELLA, JACK So it's your fault!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD Wait a minute-!
CINDERELLA If you hadn't dared him to-
BAKER (To Jack) And you had left the harp alone, We wouldn't b ein trouble In the first place!
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD (To Cinderella) Well, if you hadn't thrown away the bean In the first place-!