I'll tell you a story that happened to me. One day as I went down to Youghal by the Sea, The sun it was bright and the day it was warm, Says I, "A quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm".
I went in to the barman, I says, "Give me a stout!" Says the barman, "I'm sorry all the beer 'tis sold out. Try whiskey or vodka - ten years in the wood". Says I, "I'll try cider, I heard that it's good".
Oh never, oh never, oh never again, If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten, I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up!
After lowering the third I headed straight for the yard Where I bumped into Brophy the big civic guard. "Come here to me boy, don't you know we're in the law?!" Well, I upped with my fist and I shattered his jaw.
He fell to the ground with his knees crumpled up For t'wasn't I hit him - t'was the Johnny Jump Up. And the next thing I met down in Youghal by the Sea Was a cripple on crutches, and says he to me:
"I'm afraid o' me life I'll be hit by a car! Would you help me across to the Railwayman's Bar?" And after three pints of that cider so sweet He threw down his crutches and he danced on his feet.
Oh never, oh never, oh never again, If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten, 'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up!
Now I went up the Lee Road a friend for to see. They call it the Madhouse in Cork by the Lee. But when I got up there, the truth I do tell, They had the poor bugger locked up in his cell.
Says the guard testing him, "Say these words if you can: 'Around the rugged rocks the ragged rascal ran'." "Tell them I'm not crazy, tell them I'm not mad! T'was only six pints of that cider I had!"
Now a man died in the Union by the name of McNabb. They washed him and placed him outside on a slab. And after the coroner his measurements did take His wife took him home to a bloody fine wake.
'Twas about twelve o'clock and the beer it was high. The corpse he sat up and he says with a sigh: "I can't get to heaven, they won't let me up 'Til I bring them a pint of the Johnny Jump Up".
Oh never, oh never, oh never again, If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten, 'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up!
Oh never, oh never, oh never again, If I live to a hundred or a hundred and ten, 'Cause I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up After drinking a pint of the Johnny Jump Up!