TAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS DOWN YOU LAZY BUMB I LOOK ACROSS THE STREET AND I SEE YOUR WREATH IT REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DRUNK UNKLE PETE
TAKE THE LAMPSHADE OFF YOUR NOT FUNNY BARF UP SOME TURKEY FROM YOUR DRUNK YUMMY TUMMY TRY TO PLAY POKER BUT YOU CANT READ THE CARDS LYIN CHEATIN STEALIN BRAINS WORKING TOO HARD
DRUNK UNKLE PETE CAN’T STAND ON TWO FEET HE’S WHISKEY HE’S A SHOT GLASS HE’S A FORTY OUNCE HE’S FAMILY THAT’S RIGHT
DRUNK UNKLE PETE CAN’T FIND THE DOOR HE IS MUMBLING AND A STUMBLING DRUNK UNKLE PETE
CHRISTMAS IN THE PARK GETTING DRUNK AFTER DARK FOURTH OF JULY IS A PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE HALLOWEEN SPOOKY DAY JACK DANIELS OK VALENTINES CHOCOLATE NICE AND EARLY TIMES
ST. PATS DAY THAT’S OK FIRST OF JUNE DRUNK AGAIN NOT A HOLIDAY LOST A FINGER LOST A LIMB WASN’T IN THE WAR LET’S DRINK SOME MORE
DRUNK UNKLE PETE CAN’T STAND ON TWO FEET HE’S WHISKEY HE’S A SHOT GLASS HE’S A FORTY OUNCE HE’S FAMILY THAT’S RIGHT
12 PACK KNOCK IT BACK VICODINE AMBIEN LAST CALL ALCOHOL HURRY UP DRINK IT ALL CHECKS BOUNCING BABY CRYING GLASSES EMPTY LIVER DYING FAST WOMEN CHEAP COLOGNE EMPTY BOTTLE ALL ALONE