Well we just left the courthouse this morning And the judge said we could go our seperate ways And everything we own must be divided just like the separation papers say You can keep the curtains and the tables and the chairs And all those dirty dishes in the sink Well you can take that golf club and the television set And that lawnmower that's always on the blink You can keep all the records and the hi-fi set You can take that phoney fireplace and the log Now you keep the car you keep the boat and I'll take the dog No I'll take the dog oh no I'm gonna take the dog Well who's gonna bring me my paper who's gonna keep me company You'll just have to give him up no I ain't a partin' with the pupp The dog belongs to me Now hold on Ray you ain't gonna take this dog away from me I'm the one that feeds him every day And who always takes care of him when he's sick Now wait just a minute Jeannie I guess that you forget Who it was that always took him to the bed Paid for all of them shots of seven bucks a lick You can just forget about him I ain't leaving you without him Then you'll just have to stay I guess that's the only way okay I'll give back the curtains and the tables and the chairs And I'll wash the dirty dishes in the sink And I won't take the golf clubs and the television set And I'll fix that mower that's always on the blink We'll both listen to the records on the hi-fi set By the fireplace with this gas burnin' log We'll go ridin' in our car and we'll go sailin' in our boat And we'll both take the dog yes we'll both take the dog Come on baby (huff huff).