When you’re on a team with the Hulk and Thor And we’re all up there on the movie screen, Will the people believe that I’m not quite as tough? Will anyone even notice me?
But listen I’ve got powers too, they’re pretty sweet. I promise I can do so much more than just archery.
I’m serious guys. I’ve got a collection of scarves and berets. I play trombone in a ska band. I once got to second base on my Tinder date. And my cat has got its own Instagram.
I tell you now I kick ass at Mario Kart. This year I played an extra in Paul Blart. I can open a pickle jar. I’m friggin’ Hawkeye. Maybe I’m as super as they are.
So maybe I still haven’t lost my virginity. But when I bowl I always score at least 215, after six beers
Yes I know 'bout Captain America’s strength. Hulk becomes a towering man. But I got seventh place in my fantasy league. And I once butt-dialed Jean-Claude Van Damme.
When I go to Chipotle I get free guac. I flirt with the cashier and she says I rock. I own water-resistant socks. I’m friggin’ Hawkeye. Maybe I’m as super as a star.