Tulane and Johnny opened a novelty shop Back under the counter was the cream of the crop Everything was clickin’ and the business was good Till one day, lo and behold, an officer stood Johnny jumped the counter but he stumbled and fell But Tulane made it over Johnny just as he yelled
Go head on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you got Go Tulane, you know you need a lot Go Tulane, he’s laggin’ behind Go head on, Tulane
Go by your father’s house and tell him "business is slow" And see if he will loan us something, soon as you hit the door Put the cat out in the hall and rumple up the room Go by Doctor Keller an' tell him you swallowed some perfume Tell him we need him quick ‘cause he may have to testify That you been sick all day, and that’s a perfect alibi
Go head on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you got Go Tulane, you know you need a lot Go Tulane, he’s laggin’ behind Go head on, Tulane
Go, let Daddy drive, in case you run into The Man, Back by the shop and get the stuff and hide it in the van Go back by your father’s, get the money for the bail And bring it down and bail me out this rotten, funky jail We gotta get a lawyer in the clique of politics Somebody who can win the thing or get the thing fixed
Go head on, Tulane, he can’t catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain’t man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you got Go Tulane, you know you need a lot Go Tulane, he’s laggin’ behind Go head on, Tulane