Picture the fates of young fellows Too long in bed with no sleep With their complex romantic attachments All look on their sorrows and weep They don't get a moment's reflection There's always a crowd in their eye Pity the plight of young fellows Regard all their worries and cry Their Christian mothers were lazy perhaps Leaving it up to the school Where the moral perspective is hazy perhaps And the climate oppressively cruel Give me one acre of cellos Pitched at some distant regret Picture the fate of young fellows And their anxious attempts to forget