If you've ever wondered why Disney tales all end in lies Here's what happened after all their dreams came true
Mulan (I'll Make a Man Out of You) After saving China I went home alone I was feeling conflicts in my lower zone I've been dressing like a guy for months Now I'm losing all control I think I am a guy in my soul I wanna be a man Soldier 1: I've never seen a guy so hot Mulan: Time to reinvent the new me Soldier 2: Every time he speaks it makes me want to sing (I'm so confused) Soldier 1: Be quiet, or we'll get caught Soldier 3: Maybe one day he'll screw me M: Now I really get why my nickname is Ping I've gotta be a man I've got the brains and the bite of females Plus the brute and the brawn of dudes I know I'm ready for transformation It's time to replace all these useless tubes (Good for you)
Cinderella (A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes) The prince was absolutely the only single wish my heart made Guess my wish came true But we never really talked much Before he discovered my shoe The night after we got married I recounted all of my plights Of how I fit inside a pumpkin My canines turned to coachmen Prince threw me in Bedlam that night The white jackets say I'm nutty (she's nutty as a bat) Cause my clothes are sewn by rats (put some meds in her food) But their pills turn my brain to putty blarg Now Lucifer's not just my cat (I AM SATAN) Their insulin puts me under Shock therapy's made me insane And after years of steady frying The doctors gave up trying They stuck 2 steel rods in my brain
Tiana (Dig a Little Deeper) I spent a bloomin lifetime To open my cafe Then I took a dive in 2005 Now it's washed away (it's all washed away) I was picked up by a chopper After four nights on my roof Now my new home is the Astrodome Cause New Orleans ain't Katrina proof Ya better carry 'round a shotgun Or looters take your kids Ya better pee inside of jam jars Be sure to keep those lids (ew) We needed Noah but we got Bush Our "savior" flew away and hid Rough seas and levees, Rough seas and levees, Rough seas and levees, I'm dead
Elsa (Let It Go) There is no snow on the mountain tonight Just sulfur in the air A kingdom of greenhouse gases Only Bill Nye seems to care My town is melting, breaking off into the sea It's time I show the strength of an evil queen With Germany and Putin, too I'll free the penguins and throw you in a zoo We're going green by spilling red And if you're not dead I built a hoard of evil snowmen We're gonna take over the world Let it snow, let it snow Now Fox News will need heat lamps Let it snow, let it snow I hope you concentrate in camp (Heil Elsa) We don't care who we have to slay Let my troops march on The cold's coming back and it's here to stay
Tiana: I sunk like a brick Cinderella: Prince thinks I'm sick Elsa: Ice is melting quick Mulan: Now I have a lot of self esteem