HILLARY Hi, Hillary here, Woman up Been in power for many a year Spent a decade or three in political spheres You say I'm just first lady, you're killin me here
Strolling up to the Whitehouse, I never forget The smell of carpe diem carpet bombs and ceiling the debt Back when I operated Bill like a marionett Sporting Gepetto stilettos taking on ghettos and terror threats
Then real boy toyed with the wrong brunette Pinocchioing poking around to get his wood wet Still eight years running, didn't break a sweat Left with my head on my shoulders, I'm no Marie Antoinette
My speed is breakneck, take checks, won't apologize for the upset Didn’t die with my man, this ain’t no Romeo, Juliet Mama’s back for the votes, just call me suffragette Forget Bill, I'm an à la carte oligarch and I'm crushing it
Hi, Clinton is back, Suit up In a pants suit and on the attack, Brute up Protecting people from here to Iraq Gonna pick up that torch from Barack
You can sing hallelujah, but I'm too much to Handel Forget Shonda Rhymes, I invented the Scandal Benghazi Nazi paparazzi come and stir up another fuss Call TIME magazine, I'm the queen of the cover ups Gonna kick ass and take blames, Upper class, I'll take aim Put Bernie in an urn and fight the fanboy fanned flames
I'm hyper activist, The lion, elephant's nemesis An emotional strategist, black mamba, I'm venomous Wrathful warrior pacifist, channel Yahweh in Genesis I'm the gaudiest godliest godless minimal feminist I'm HRC, New election, new me All hail the female in 2016
TRUMP So we're supposed to elect you just because you're a woman You're less likable than Cruz, and he looks like a melting snowman Such excitement for indictment, this email thing's a bad omen Getting cold, better run to Putin before you get Snowden
Don't be alarmed, it's just me, the real Donald Trump I'm here to smear to give your ladies and your ratings a bump You pumped? I'm the buyer's choice to make America great again Mission's simple: give permission to let Americans hate again
Speaking of which, Obama’s a Muslim, talk about foreign aid Where was he born? Africa? I popped out in suede And hey, when life gave me millions, I made billionaide Best served on ice with a plate of Barack O'BBQ in the shade
Took my casino earnings, brought some cash to the party Just spent a weekend at Bernie's, now we're crashing the parties Poaching establishment voters on a Ferrari safari Talkin a big game sipping on some fascist Bacardi
Jk, I don't drink, I have self control Unless you're not-white, Rosie O'Donnel, or an internet troll
Blew up Republican politics like the law was Sharia Made Chris Christie my bitchie Turned Carson into Madea Ted held hands with Fiorina while my fans filled arenas Poor bruised abused Cruz, I stole his role in God's Not Dead 3-uh
Bernie, baby, take notes from a true inside outsider You're a dumbfounded dumb founder of a movement that floundered Your camp can riot at my rallies but don't show up to fight Things get messy when teens start exercising their rights
BERNIE So you're worth millions, well I'm a meme, that's my net worth I'm set, working the net, go on and keep your networks I'm gonna polarize ya, pulverize ya, separate the truth from lies Can't stop the young people, Bernie's gonna youthenize ya
I'm new and old fashioned, hi, I'm Bernie Sanders I came from the streets of Brooklyn to be your chief commander I meander gerrymandering and slander from a witch Which, by the by, is why I pitched a campaign for the no-rich niche Funded by Americans, Bernie's super packless No corruption, no greed I'm like a shamwow, no mess
Hit the campaign trail with black sails Eff the police I'm freeing the black males Stall white collar low ballers from tipping cash to tip the scales Gonna fill the jails with laymen, Hope their souls are worth the savings Misbehave in the Caymens, Trump, you’re gonna go to hell for your havens, oh boy Hey Satan, is this seat taken? America's gotta white-collar cravin I'm the second most popular socialist Jew gettin praised in this nation
If ya got a couple millions, you'll be revolushunned I got 99 problems, but my percent ain't 1