John Finnemore - Cabin Pressure - S01 - E04 - Douz | Текст песни

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• Cabin Pressure - S01 - E04 - Douz

Douz (S01E04)

Synopsis: Carolyn struggles to keep a surprise charity flight and a difficult airfield manager from bankrupting MJN Air.

Favorite Quotes:

“If that landing had been any safer, it would have killed us.” - Carolyn
“Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking, just to say there is absolutely nothing to worry about.” - Martin
“You know what they say: a good landing’s any landing you can walk away from. A great landing is one where they can reuse the plane.” - Douglas

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Full transcript under the cut!

[bing bong]

Martin: Good afternoon, this is your captain speaking, just to say there is absolutely nothing to worry about.

[bing bong]

Martin: Hello, Captain Crieff here again. Still no need to panic. I repeat, there is no need to panic. Or to look out of the windows. Everything’s fine.

[bing bong]

Martin: Actually, I wasn’t being entirely straight with you just now. You see, it’s this damnable sleeping sickness of mine. [yawning] Normally I control it with a mysterious stimulant from South America, but blast it, my supply’s run out. I’m afraid our only hope now is if, by some chance, someone on board knows how to prepare this stimulant and could…

Carolyn: Yes, we get the message. Arthur, take Martin his coffee.

[credits]

Arthur: Here you are, Skipper. Wow, is that the Sahara?!

Douglas: The vast, sandy thing on the ground? That’s the chap, yes.

Arthur: Wow! It’s brilliant!

Douglas: Always at hand with the mot juste, aren’t you, Arthur? Yes, the Sahara Desert is brilliant. Just as the Niagara Falls were brilliant, the Northern Lights were brilliant, and that chap from RyanAir burping the theme to The Muppets was really brilliant.

Arthur: Come on, that was brilliant! Wow, camels!

Douglas: And how would you describe them, in a word?

Arthur: Brilliant!

Douglas: Thought so.

Arthur: What are they all doing there?

Douglas: Filling up! Douz is the last town in Tunisia before the desert. It’s like a big camel petrol station.

Martin: Ha! What would you know about petrol stations?

Douglas: I’ve seen them. I drive past them. Sometimes I stop for a Kit Kat.

Arthur: What, doesn’t your car need petrol, Douglas?

Martin: No, Douglas’s car does not need petrol.

Arthur: Wow! Well, maybe I should get one –

Douglas: Yes, Arthur, you keep lumbering on after the uptake. It’s sure to tire eventually. What Martin’s getting at – and this isn’t for your mother’s ears – is, you know how we have to run off a couple of litres of fuel before every trip to check for water droplets? Well, there’s nothing in the book to say where you have to run it off to.

Martin: I think there’s a general understanding that they didn’t mean into the tank of the First Officer’s Lexus.

Douglas: Then they should have said so; I’m not a mind reader!

Arthur: You can run a car on aviation fuel?

Douglas: Oh, yes! It’s a bit like giving a bunny rabbit cheetah food, but it doesn’t half make it go, as I imagine it would do the bunny rabbit.

Douz Tower: Golf Tango India, good evening. You’re cleared to land at your discretion on 2-7. Wind is 200 at 25.

Douglas: Roger. [disconnecting] Ooh, breezy.

Martin: You still happy to take the landing, or shall I?

Douglas: Oh, I suspect I’ll muddle through, Martin. I was doing my log book the other day and I noticed that this happens to be my 2000th landing.

Arthur: Oh, wow! Is that true? That’s amazing!

Douglas: Oh, not brilliant? I’m crushed.

Martin: No, it’s not true, Arthur. It’s just another transparent attempt to remind me what a mighty sky god he is.

Douglas: Of course it’s true! Why would you doubt it?

Martin: Well, my suspicions were first aroused by the use of the phrase “I was doing my log

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