John Finnemore - Cabin Pressure - S04 - E06 - Yverdon-Les-Bains | Текст песни

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• John Finnemore
• Cabin Pressure - S04 - E06 - Yverdon-Les-Bains

This week ... Yverdon-Les-Bains:
Arthur: He’s here.
Carolyn: Hello Martin.
Douglas: Martin
Arthur: Hi Skip!
Martin: (dubiously) Hello ... What’s going on? Why are you all looking at me like that?
Arthur: A letter came for you, Skip.
Martin: A letter?
Arthur: With a Swiss Stamp.
Martin: (slightly breathlessly) Oh god, Oh God!
Douglas: We’re hoping Heidi’s finally replied to your fan mail.
Martin: (chuckles weakly) Uh, ok, ok, ok, uh ... Head of Personnel, Swiss Airways, Yverdon-Les-Bains. Dear Mr Creuff ...
Douglas: Good start.
Martin: Thank you for attending our simulator check and technical exam. Your results are ... very interesting and we would like to invite you to an interview to our headquarters in Yverdon-Les-Bains on 21st March ... (suddenly excited) I’ve got an interview, I’ve got an interview!
Carolyn: Well done Martin!
Martin: (practically shouting) Oh God I got an interview!
Arthur: You’ll be brilliant
Martin: I won’t, I’m terrible at interviews.
Douglas: Well, bad news from the wall chart. We’re taking some of Mr Alyakhin’s yacht fanciers yacht shopping that day.
Carolyn: Well you can do that by yourself, can’t you?
Douglas: Certainly I can but I thought Mr Alyakhin insisted on the full complement of pilots. If you can call two a compliment.
Carolyn: Oooh I’m sure it’ll all be fine.
Douglas: Alright then, let’s see ... well Martin if you relieve me of the pleasure of the dawn flight to Doncaster I’m down for on the 19th I’ll be in hours to do the Antibes solo.
Martin: Oh thanks Douglas, a-although actually you’d be in hours even if I didn’t do ...
Douglas: [over the top of Martin still speaking] Well yes, but then what would I get out of it?
~ O ~
[Airport tannoy bings]
Tannoy: (female voice) Passengers for flight SA13, we should be ready to board you within ten minutes.
Martin: (frantically) Wait! Nonono waitwait! Anyone got any more practice questions?
Arthur: What’s been your best crash?
Martin: Anyone apart from Arthur?
Douglas: Oh, here’s an old one ... You’re on a stopover in Bangkok and your Captain meets you in the hotel bar wearing a red cocktail dress. What do you say?
Martin: Oh right, eer well, um ... It’s not on company time, or property, umm so, in the spirit of respecting his life choices I ....
Douglas: [over the top of Martin again] No, no. You tell her how well it goes with her earrings.
Martin: Oh but that’s not fair, the question pre-supposes...
Carolyn: [also speaking over Martin] Don’t scare the boy, Douglas. They don’t really go in for trick ones these days Martin. It’ll just be things like “What would you say is your worst quality?”
Martin: Oh-oh-oh yes, I-I’ve got a great one for this. I saw this on a web site ... My worst quality, I’m afraid, is that I am, sometimes, a bit too much of a perfectionist.
Douglas and Carolyn groan in unison
Carolyn: (sounding extremely long suffering) Whatever you do, don’t say that.
Martin: W-w-w-why not? Don’t you see it’s really clever because it sounds like I’m criticising myself b-b-but actually being a perfectionist is a good thing for a pilot to be, so ...
Carolyn: [again cutting Martin off] Yeees, I understand the fiendish cunning of it, Martin, I just fear it may have lost the first fine flush of youth. You should say something that shows you’re genuinely aware of your weak points as a pilot.
Douglas: (far too snidely for your transcribers liking) Ooooooh.
Carolyn: (in clipped tones) Yes, thank you Douglas ... We are not looking for contributions from the floor.
Arthur: Oooh I know, make it something you can’t help but will make them feel sorry for you. Like, um, your worst quality is ... ah, you’re blind.
[Airport tannoy bings]
Tannoy: (fe