Sold out of flagpoles I walked down past the courthouse square three blocks or maybe four Run into my old friend there who runs a handy hardware store I said mornin' Lon what's the good word He said Abraham Lincoln Lone Ranger Mickey Mouse and I'm sold out of flagpoles I popped the top off a soda pop laid a quarter on the bar I said inflation is a dirty dog my payday sure ain't goin' far Liberty said Lonnie E Pluribus Uni in God we trust and I'm sold out of flagpoles I said hey Lonnie did you see Evel Knievel jumpin' on TV Jumped 13 buses with his machine reckon he could jump 14 No doubt said Lonnie winners keep on winnin' Even losers win sometimes and I'm sold out of flagpoles [ harmonica ] Ain't this been a year I said for frost and blight and flood and drought Twice as many tornados reckon it's all caused by fallout No it's the season said Lonnie they change Wind's gonna blow always did and I'm sold out of flagpoles Hey what d'you think about the sheriff's daughter Runnin' off with the preacher's son The sheriff's wife had to hold him back from goin' after them with his gun Boys and girls said Lonnie will get together Everything's normal and I'm sold out of flagpoles And I'm sold out of flagpoles sold out of flagpoles sold out of flagpoles