Now, I live in the country I got a neighbor...his name's Joe And me and Joe Don't get along just so
So, one day I decided I was gonna fix his clock And that puny motherfucker'd Never know!
Now, old Joe he growed a garden Out behind his house The prettiest fuckin' garden You've ever seen!
One day I struck out through the grass And watched his little, scroungy ass And when he got inside I got real mean!
I stomped on his tomata's And I pissed on his potata's And I shit all over His fuckin' sugar beets!
And then I got my dick real hard And jacked off in that fuckers yard! And shot my rocks All over his cabbage leaves!
I showed that little sucker, didn't I? Thought I was guttin' a big ol' hog in the ass Didn't know what was gonna happen next Listen here!
Now, I left there tippin' like a mouse And made my way back to my house But when I got there Things were kind of quiet.
I heard somebody moan and groan And I thought, "What the hell is goin' on?" So I peeped through the window And I saw a terrible sight!
It was Joe, and my wife, in the bed And in my wife's ass I saw his head And I thought, "That sonofabitch ain't got no sense!"
And he never did come up for air And there amongst the fur and hair He was having a full-course meal At my expense!
Now, a time, or two, he coughed and spit And my wife screamed, and almost shit And I thought that motherfucker Would never stop!
But he finally quit, and grabbed his pants And up the road I watched him dance Acting like old Johnny On the spot!
Oh! I fucked up his eatin'! And he eat up my fuckin'! I didn't know the bastard was the kind That went for suckin'! While I was in his garden (CHORUS) He was in my cornfield shuckin'! And now my wife Is throwin' rocks at me!
Now, the moral of this story is... Don't ever pick the shit! You might not know the trouble You'll be startin'!
Just let your fuckin' neighbor be And think about what happened to me And most of all..... Don't fuck with that man's garden!