Zombies out of the earth, Vampires out of the night Ghosts comin’ through walls, Killer slash with a knife Séance candles go out, the Ouija Board’s a flake There’s no Holy Water, the Exorcist is late…
WANTED: Horror Movie Hero, make Evil pay! You gotta work nights and a few holidays Weapons not provided, you start at the full moon, Experience preferred, the sequel’s coming soon!
Killer’s in the house, and the light switch doesn’t work You found your friends all dead, the Slasher goes berserk If you passed the front door to get away upstairs Then the Hero is the answer to all your prayers
[CHORUS]
Play with a puzzle box or meet a rabid dog If you’re trapped in the closet or caught out in the Fog The Hero always knows that Horror Movie Law, When the going gets tough, the tough get a chainsaw!
[CHORUS]
A hockey mask, a Shatner mask, head full of pins Razor claws on a glove or a leathery grin With Carpenter, Raimi, Craven and Barker too, Our Hero’s sure got one helluva job to do!