You're the dude from high school I see at the gym You're a friend of a friend or a second cousin You're a coworker I sometimes eat lunch with You're one of my many acquaintances You know Christmas is about spending time With friends and family but just because you're not in one of those two categories Doesn't mean that I won't still do something special for you Because Christmas is about giving, so here's what I'll do
I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text) Gonna type Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send
Maybe I'll just copy and paste it (from a previous text) Well, it's only two words I might as well just type it (less complicated) If you're thinking of calling me to thank me, oh please don't (that's not how this works) Texting is as far as this relationship goes (and keep your response brief) I have way more important people in my life You're not even in the top fifty It's not that I don't care about you... Well, yeah, I don't really care about you But doesn't mean that I won't still do something special for you Because Christmas is about giving, so here's what I'll do
I'm gonna send you a Christmas text (Christmas text, Christmas text) Gonna type Merry Christmas exclamation point and then press send
I don't care enough to call but I don't "not care" enough to do nothing
And to all of my non-Christian friends I will text you... "Hey dude, what's going on? We should tots hang next week"