Jon Lajoie - WTF Collective 2 (Jon Lajoie) | Текст песни

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• Jon Lajoie
• WTF Collective 2 (Jon Lajoie)

MC CONFUSING:
MC Confusing back in this bitch
With a parking sandwich and chicken ticket
I got a liquid face lift from a a fig with big tits
And my wrist got twisted by a brit with fig spit
And you don't understand it 'cause your not supposed to
Like a candy cane snake in a jealous cartoon
And I'm gonna leave soon but first I need to
Drink a Chevy Chase face and rape Robo-Cop 2

MC HISTORICAL INACCURACY:
Yo I'm MC Historical-Inaccuracy
I drop lyrical bombs like Hiroshima in Seventy-Three
I write rhymes like Shakespeare when he wrote Anne Frank'S diary
Which is about the civil war of 1812 in Germany
I'm like the Spanish Inquisition when they killed Jesus
And Abe Lincoln's suicide was the theme for my thesis
Like Moses when I focus I can split the red sea
Like he did in 1950 with the Chinese army

MC DON'T KNOW HOW TO PLURALIZES WORD(S):
I'm MC Don't-Know-How-To-Pluralize-Word
I got so many rhyme and I sleep with all the girl
When there's more of one of something you're supposed to pluralize
But I never learned that throughout all the year I've been alive

MC CANADIAN STEREOTYPE:
Hello, I'm MC Canadian-Stereotype
I'm aboot to get started so let me get off the ice
But I don't want any trouble and I am always polite
Now lets hop on my snowmobile and I will tell you what I like
But first I'll turn off curling and turn down Avril Lavigne
Et j'vais dire une phrase en francais, parce qu'ici on est bilingue
Oh boy, I fell off my igloo and I hurt my knee
Let's go to the hospital! Don't worry, here in Canada it's free, eh?

MC FATIGUE:
MC fatigue did 'ya miss me
I'll be awake for five minutes 'cause I had a coffee
I'll try to get through my verse but I really don't know
I drank that coffee about five minutes ago

MC CHORUS GUY:
They hired me again to sing
This mother fuckin' chorus
I haven't found a fuckin' job yet
So I got to do this bullshit
(I can't take it I'm done)
I don't think that I can sing, another fuckin' chorus
I think I'm going to jump off a bridge, or shoot myself like Kurt Cobain did
(I think my dad has a gun)

MC KNOWS TOO MANY FACTS ABOUT BEES:
I'm MC Knows-Too-Many-Facts-About-Bees
Fifteen miles an hour is their average speed
A queen can lay up to three-thousand eggs in a day
Just because I know a lot about bees doesn't mean that I'm gay
(MC IN THE CLOSET HOMOSEXUAL):
I'm also MC In-The-Closet-Homosexual
I hide it because it's easier to be heterosexual
We can't even get married in most states here in America
It's fucked up! (Gay marriage is legal here in Canada! )

MC HOMOPHOBIC FUCKING ASSHOLE:
I'm MC Homophobic-Fucking-Asshole
Being gay is evil and it is unnatural
Jesus said the love thy neighbor but only if they are straight
Penises go in vaginas anything else is just insane

MC EXTREMELY INAPPROPRIATE RHYMES:
I'm MC Extremely-Inappropriate-Rhymes
I shake things up like J-Fox when I get on the mic
And I drop my enemies like Christopher Reeves' horse
And I put them to sleep like Heath Ledger, of course! (Woah!)

MC EXTREMELY POLITICALLY CORRECT:
I'm MC Extremely-Politically-Correct
I disagree with the previous MC's lyrical content
It's offensive, insensitive and in very bad taste
Just like that guy who wrote that song when Micheal Jackson past away

MC FINAL VERSE:
Yo, MC Final-Verse here to end the song
One was enough we didn't need a sequel, Jon
Make a fourth Show Me Your Genitals or another Normal Guy
But for now let's end this stupid song with a suicide

MC CHORUS GUY:
This is the last time I will ever sing a chorus
My dad's gun was in his closet


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