[Intro] Good guys are overrated, man! I mean look at this out-of-work plumber Who spends less time saving the girl Then he does munchin' on mushrooms! Ha, no surprise there...
[Verse 1] You must be trippin' out your mind if you wanna mess around with Bowser The fire-breathing King Koopa, Screw your flower power Step in his castle you'll get bashed, burned, beaten, destroyed And he's the only reason Mario is even employed
I smell some Mortal Kombat goin' down If you pick a fight with Shao Kahn, then he's gonna smack you around With his Wrath Hammer, now there's a weapon that you should fear FINISH HIM! That's the last thing that you'll ever hear
No Gods or Kings, only men, parasites you better scram It's Andrew Ryan comin' at you When you got no hope he'll give you rapture A man chooses but a slave obeys Now Would You Kindly make the choice to get the fuck out my way?
[Chorus] I'm not the good guy, if you couldn't tell I may be bad, but I do it so well I'm half the reason these games even sell Don't call me evil, I'm just out for myself!
[Verse 2] Don't get me started on Sonic That hedgehog is awful obnoxious Ever heard of Doctor Robotnik? He's the guy you might get along with It won't be long before he builds a device That's gonna show you how fast Sonic can run for his life
All hail the world eater, first-born of the Katot Scorching all your mortal souls, he's the Nordic Dragon God Whether you're man or mur, Alduin will feed on you All the people fear his rule, Dovahkiin, meet your doom!
Talk about an appetite The Flood will eat anything in sight! Good luck finishing the fight, you can say goodbye to organic life! Survival is the only rule that they play by That's why you don't go striking up a deal with the Gravemind!
[Chorus]
General Shepherd is the man you gotta work for But only if you wanna start another world war Even when you think you've got a true friend... *Gun Cocks* All you are is one less loose end
Yo, Ex-Special Forces legend turned mercenary He made a nation dedicated to the military A hero led astray, Big Boss is his name PLOT TWIST! Solid Snake, you're biologically the same!
Gather your magic and grab your Master Sword Whenever you're heading to battle with Ganondorf The Triforce has the power that this dark lord needs And once he gets his hands on it, there's no stopping the beast
[Chorus]
It ain't cake that this baddie wants to feed to you Just open up your Aperture and then you'll see the truth GLaDOS, one of the baddest girls I've ever seen Her humanity is dead, all that's left is the machine
Oh no, Professor Hojo, you don't know, just what you've made Project Jenova's gonna show you how to Fall from Grace The One-Winged Angel you just went to war with Sephiroth is the god who you oughtta worship!
Clean-cut, calm, composed, and creepily cryptic One look at him and you know the G-Man means business The inter-dimensional molder of time Smell the ashes, Mr. Freeman? Rise and Shine