Kaji Yuuki, Kamiya Hiroshi, Inoue Marina, Ishikawa Yui - Levi VS Mikasa ~Dotou no Souji Batoru~ | Текст песни

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• Kaji Yuuki, Kamiya Hiroshi, Inoue Marina, Ishikawa Yui
• Levi VS Mikasa ~Dotou no Souji Batoru~

Narration: In the year 850, the old Survey Corps headquarters suddenly saw the signal fire for the start of a new battle. That was an event that happened on a day five days after Eren Jaeger first joined the Survey Corps…

[bells ringing]

Levi: [opens door] Hey, wake up, brat! How long are you planning to sleep?

Eren: [sleeptalking]…wait…Hange-san…that knife…

Levi: Oi.

Eren: …Captain! [rises, salutes] Good morning, sir!

Levi: Sleeping like an idiot on such an important day, are you? What a mess.

Eren: An important day? Do you mean another one of Hange’s new experiments? The sun still isn’t up yet, though…

Levi: Today is the second round of headquarters house-cleaning.

Eren: House-cleaning?…Are we cleaning again? I thought we just did the housecleaning for the first time the day before yesterday…

Levi: Of course. Headquarters house-cleaning is performed once every two days.

Eren: Once every two days!?…sir?

Levi: That’s right. What did you do last time?

Eren: I cleaned the yard, sir!

Levi: Then today you’re in charge of cleaning here.

Eren: [salutes] Yessir!

BetsuMaga Special Drama CD

<Shingeki no Kyojin>

“Captain Levi vs. Mikasa: Raging Cleaning Battle!”

Levi: Wonderful…It’s perfect. [opens door]

Eren: Captain! After a several hour battle, I’ve finished cleaning!

Levi: [sighs] This is what you’ve taken two hours to do?…This is completely unacceptable. Do all of it over again.

Eren: Where did I mess up? I swept from corner to corner and wiped down everything with a dust-cloth…Even if you tell me to keep cleaning, what am I supposed to clean?

Levi: Eren.

Eren: Yessir. [salutes]

Levi: A room is covered with more cracks and crevices than your brain is… And dust. Loves. Those crevices. The crevices in the table and the crevices in the dresser, the crevices that appear when you open a drawer, the crevices in the metal fixtures on the door… in crevices like those crevices… dust has gathered. [wipes a finger through dust] Look. I’m talking about these…

Eren: (He’s so meticulous…Almost like Mikasa.)

Levi: No matter how much you clean and clean, these guys keep coming back. Just keep springing up from somewhere… God, it leaves a man in despair…

Eren: Hey! Please don’t wipe that on my shirt!

Levi: Wait. What’s this? Mold? Are you cultivating mold on the wall of your room? Is this supposed to be some sort of decorative plant? Or is it your new friend? If this wall was the Wall outside, even the Titans wouldn’t go near the damn thing.

Eren: So that was mold…? I was sure it was just a pattern on the wall…

Levi: [shocked, disgusted gasp] Hey, Eren. Are you kidding me? What the hell are you thinking? Why are there mushrooms growing on the underside of your bed!?

Eren: Mushrooms!?…Then that means that all this time I was sleeping in a room growing mold and mushrooms?…Um…I-,I’m going to be alright, right? I’m not going to get some weird diseas-Ah!

Levi: [sword drawn] Don’t come any closer! I understand now. The problem isn’t with your cleaning techniques. The real problem is with your brain. Overlooking such a massive quantity of dust, convinced that the mold was a pattern on the wall, cultivating mushrooms under your bed…that was all your rotten brain at work. I’ll let Hange look into it.

Mikasa: [slams door open] I can’t listen to this any longer! This is getting nowhere.

Eren: Mikasa!

Mikasa: Eren’s brain isn’t rotten at all. Anyone cleaning would have overlooked the dust and the mold and the mushrooms. And on top of that, saying that’s the fault of Eren’s brain? You’re just using cleaning as an excuse to give Eren mental anguish. You’re humanity’s strongest sadistic pervert cleaning man. I can’t hand Eren over to a pervert like that! [draws swords]

Eren: Hey! Stop that, Mikasa! And before that, why are you even here!?

Armin: We had a break from training today…

Eren: Armin! When did you get here!?

Armin:…and Mikasa said we should go see Eren.

MIkasa: Don’t worry, Eren…I’ll protect you.

Levi: You…you’re Eren’s childhood friend from that time? I see…However, you’re wrong. Clearing everything away, without leaving one speck of dust, one spot of mold, or one patch of mushrooms. That is what cleaning is.

Mikasa: Are you saying you can do that?

Levi: Do you think I can’t?

Mikasa: ..Shall we have a match?

Eren: Hey! Mikasa!

Mikasa: To see which one of us can make Eren’s room cleaner. Shall we have a match?

Levi: Hn. Interesting. I’ll take you up on that.

Eren: Seriously?

Armin: A cleaning contest between Humanity’s Strongest and a once-in-a-century prodigy! Brrrr! I’ll wager a year’s worth of dinners on the Captain!

Eren: The hell are you saying, Armin?

Levi: Eren. You’re the announcer.

Eren: Huh? There’s no way, I can’t be an announcer! I’m really bad at talking, and– In the first place, why do we even need an announcer!?

Levi: If there’s no announcer, Oluo, Petra, and the others will get bored.

Eren: Eh?

Armin: It’ll be fine, Eren! Eren, you’re always overcoming any sort of difficulties. You’ll be able to do that today, too! Though I can’t really say anything more than “Do your best!” and all.

Levi: Live commentary is you, Mushroom-Head.

Armin: …

Levi: Hey.

Armin: Yes?

Levi: I’m talking to you, Mushroom-Head.

Armin: Eeeeh? Me!?

Levi: Is there anyone else here? You do live commentary.

Mikasa: Armin. You’re experienced at this. Help out Eren.

Armin: That..That’s impossible, I can’t commentate on cleaning! [draws swords] There’s no way I can do that!

Eren: Hey! Calm down, Armin!

Armin: I-I’m fine. I’ll be okay. But this is bad. I don’t know anything about cleaning. I’m allergic to dust, so I’ve always left cleaning to someone else. At the settlements, Eren and Mikasa did it for me, and before that, all the house cleaning was done by my grandpa! I’ve never cleaned in my life! S-Someone like me can’t possibly commentate on cleaning! And…the moment I can’t commentate, I!…I’ll fall behind and –!

Eren: Oi! Armin, where are you going? Those are the stairs!

Armin: –ey’ll send me back to the—!! AH! AAAAH!

Eren: What’s this? Armin Arlert has tripped on the stairs and has taken a severe blow to his shin! One moment of carelessness! A hellish agony that seems to last for eternity! Does something lie beyond that torment!? …Oh! I get it, so this is what being an announcer is like. Wait, this isn’t the time for that! Are you okay, Armin!? I’m going to take you to Hange-san, okay!??

Levi: Hey, you. Eren’s friend. I’ll give you thirty minutes. Prepare yourself.

Mikasa: Understood.

~~~

Eren: Now, Special Operations Squad members, we’ve kept you waiting. From here on out, the decisive battle between humanity’s strongest soldier, Captain Levi, and unprecedented prodigy, Mikasa Ackerman,　will soon begin!

Armin: Our two blood-thirsty competitors have now entered the stage of today’s battle, Eren Yeager’s room! The Captain is wearing a triangular kerchief as a mask in Custodial Corps style. On the other side, Mikasa has donned a pink apron adorned with bunny rabbits. That’s something that Oluo-san picked out for her not too long ago.

Eren: Well then, let’s begin! Oluo-san, the commencement signal!

［bell rings]

Eren: Oh man! Mikasa Ackerman! Before the bell has even stopped ringing, she’s already on the move!

Armin: That’s fast! Moving faster than the eye can follow, she’s targeting the bed!

Eren: Whoa! She’s flipped over the bed and started by cutting down every single mushroom! Yes! Now I’ll be able to sleep with no worries!

Armin: Not just the mushrooms! She’s disassembled the bed and wiped down every place with a dust cloth! That level of attention to detail sends chills down your spine! The only words I have for this are ”Absolutely spectacular!” And now she’s moved to the desk!

Eren: Hey, put that back together!

Armin: Now’s not the time for that, Eren! Look at the Captain!

Eren: Amazing! What amazing speed! With that amazing speed, he’s shaving off the mold on the wall! Even though it’s being shaved off, the wall’s so beautifully clean you’d think it was completely removed!

Levi: Are you satisfied with how you cleaned the bed, Eren’s Friend? What amateur work.

Mikasa: …As expected of humanity’s strongest cleaning soldier.

Armin: Oh no…Wait. This is bad! Even if the lower part of the wall has been cleaned, as it stands, the top!…the top of the wall!!! IS TOO HIGH FOR THE CAPTAIN TO REACH!!!

Eren: Leaving it only half clean looks worse than not cleaning it at all! Now, what will humanity’s strongest cleaning soldier do?

[metallic click]

Eren: No way! 3DMG!? The Captain has fired his 3DMG! Carrying a dust-cloth in his right, and a broom in his left!

Armin: That..can’t be…That….That’s! 3DM CLEANING!!

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