Skit 1: [DeRay Davis] Now beat that! And your mothers saying "Go to college" So you finish college And it's wonderful You feel so good And after all the partying and craziness And don't forget about that drug habit you picked up at school From being around your peers Hey! Now you'll get that 25-thousand dollar job a year And you'll spend all your money on crack cocaine But, it'll be YOUR money No more borrowing from mom for my high So now you get your degree tattooed on your back `Cause you're so excited about it If you continue to work at the Gap After several interviews Oh my God You'll come in at a entry-level position And if you do that If you kiss enough ass You'll move up to the next level Which is being the secretary's secretary And boy is that great You can take messages for the secretary Who NEVER went to college She's actually the bosses niece! So now you're part of the family You know what college does for you? It makes you really smart, man You kids wanted to talk in the back of the class? Not me, I listened Okay? I was a Hall-Monitor This was meant to be You know how many classes I took? Extra classes No, I've never had sex But, you know what? My degree keeps me satisfied When a lady wakes to me says "You know what's sexy" No, I don't know what it is But I bet I can add up all the change in your purse Very fast