If I had my own way You'd be here with me today But I rarely have my own way I guess that's why you're not here with me today
And the librarian said 'You can't buy no respect' I said, ‘Hey, lady, what can you expect When I'm lying on the floor?’
Well I love the lady but you don't wanna be No girl of mine Well the only thing you ever done for me Was help me waste my time
And I saw you at the funeral You were standing there like a temple I said ‘Hi! How are you? Hello!’ And I pulled up a casket and crawled in Yes, I did
Climbed up a Mountain and I looked around Some kind of circus with all them clowns I said hey wait a minute can't we slow down a bit
And I almost got hit by a truck
Well it just goes to show you that we're all on our own Scrounging for our own share of good luck Stab your brother in the back And pick up your pay check
Good-bye lonely heart drawings You never did work anyhow I'm looking for a nice girl And I don't want no cow
I'm heading out West Gonna find me the best Well, I played the game but I failed the test If I can't be a lover then I'll be a pest