When me and Pam Are hand in hand We make a lovely pair But when we fight Her awful spite Is more than I can bear
She gives me the business, I lose all self control The curse of fifty wintches making wormwood of my soul
A life of broken china and sneering yellow hate Ooh, derision and contumely and things that nauseate
Ruptures of the psyche, vexation in the head Posion in my coffee and needles in my bed Mischief in the midriff, tensions of the spine Oooh, underhand aspersions that really are unkind
Pam's mods (yeah, come on now) Pam's moods Pam's moods Pam's moods
An abject little toady her scolding makes of me Ooooh, why is she so bitter every time we disagree?