Lately, I've seen red, I've tasted blood I've killed with words, I've wished and hoped And swam through a river of snot Twice as wide as the mighty Mississippi
But I wanna know about the commercial I saw on TV An Irish guy walking through a field of green Whistling one of those Irish jigs And a woman walks up and says \"Manly yes, but I like it too\"
Then the guy pulls out a huge knife And cuts off his first two fingers And somehow catches them In what's left of his left hand And hands them to the woman Did I mention they're both dressed in green?
They, they both sing this song together \"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky? Are ya hot as anything? Hey, cut off two of your fingers And stab yourself in the eye\"
Then he stabs himself in the eye And hands her the knife And she stabs herself in the eye, okay? Okay? So what about that?
Then they join arms and do this Irish folk dance While taking turns dismembering each other This was a commercial for deodorant, I think Or soap or something So now all the body parts are lying in a heap
But the heads are still singing \"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky? Are ya hot as anything? Hey, get away from summer And cut off all your limbs\"
Then all of the body parts Start hopping and bopping around like little bunny rats Then they jump into the mouths of the singing heads But then they just slip right back out Through the severed necks and keep bopping about
It's very beautiful music that's playing There's an Irish flute and a mandolin, I think And the background singers sound Just like the Clancy brothers
It's really a wonderful commercial Spectacular, it must of cost a fortune to make The kind of commercial you'd see During the Super Bowl, maybe
Where the advertising time costs A million dollars a half a minute Wow, imagine that A million dollars for a half a minute
Anyway, by the end of it It looks like the two of them have been through a juicer Or a food processor or a blender or something It's just a pink puree of blood Bone and flesh in a big bucket
But it's still singing somehow \"Are ya icky? Are ya sticky? Are ya hot as anything? Hey, blend yourself, process yourself Become a glass of animal juice\"
\"Haven't you had enough Of fruit juices and vegetable juices? Next time company comes over Offer them a cool refreshing glass of yourself\"
\"Give of yourself Stop being such a selfish piece of snot Okay? Okay? Okay And now, back to our program\"