The girls today in society go for classical poetry So to win their hearts one must quote with ease Aeschylus and Euripides One must know Homer, and believe me, Beau Sophocles, also Sappho-ho Unless you know Shelley and Keats and Pope Dainty Debbies will call you a dope
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But the poet of them all Who will start 'em simply ravin' Is the poet people call The Bard of Stratford on Avon
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{Refrain} Brush up your Shakespeare Start quoting him now Brush up your Shakespeare And the women you will wow
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Just declaim a few lines from Othella And they'll think you're a hell of a fella If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er Tell her what Tony told Cleopatterer
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing What are clothes? Much ado about nussing Brush up your Shakespeare And they'll all kow-tow
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With the wife of the British ambessida Try a crack out of Troilus and Cressida If she says she won't buy it or tike it Make her tike it, what's more As You Like It
If she says your behavior is heinous Kick her right in the Coriolanus Brush up your Shakespeare And they'll all kow-tow
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If you can't be a ham and do Hamlet They will not give a damn or a damlet Just recite an occasional sonnet And your lap'll have honey upon it
When your baby is pleading for pleasure Let her sample your Measure for Measure Brush up your Shakespeare And they'll all kow-tow - Forsooth And they'll all kow-tow - I' faith And they'll all kow-tow
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Better mention "The Merchant Of Venice" When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace If her virtue, at first, she defends---well Just remind her that "All's Well That Ends Well"
And if still she won't give you a bonus You know what Venus got from Adonis Brush up your Shakespeare And they'll all kow-tow - Thinkst thou? And they'll all kow-tow - Odds bodkins And they'll all kow-tow
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If your goil is a Washington Heights dream Treat the kid to "A Midsummer Night's Dream" If she then wants an all-by-herself night Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or "Twelfth Night"
If because of your heat she gets huffy Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!" Brush up your Shakespeare And they'll all kow-tow - Forsooth And they'll all kow-tow - Thinkst thou? And they'll all kow-tow - We trou' And they'll all kow-tow