I am a selfish bastard and I deserve to die There ain't nothing good about me unless I had to lie I do just what I want to do, I don't care who you tell I am selfish bastard, you all can go to hell
I have a wife to marry and all we did was fight She could never see that I was always right She increased my policy for accidental death And plot away the day that I take my final breath
The parish comes a knockin' wanting money for the poor I don't even answer, I just leave them at the door I've only got one charity and it belongs to me I am a selfish bastard as anyone can see
I always be alone, I will never have a mate Every gal can see inside of me the bitterness and hate The stinginess consumes me, I can't just let it go There ain't nothing here for anyone, I'll always be alone
I may not meet your standards for proper decency I'm currently offending your present company I do just what I want to do, I don't care who you tell I am selfish bastard, you all can go to hell I am selfish bastard, you all can go to hell