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• I want to dance

I am sorry that there was no podcast last week. It was half-term week, the week in the middle of the school term when the children have a holiday. We went to Dorset, on the south coast of England, to visit my mother-in -law, so there was no time to make a podcast.

Today, I want to tell you about a TV programme which is very popular in England at present, and to introduce you to the word “celebrity”. I shall also reveal to you a secret ambition that I have!

The TV programme is called Strictly Come Dancing. It is, as you can guess, about dancing. But not any old sort of dancing. Strictly Come Dancing is about ballroom dancing. That means dances like the waltz, the quickstep and the tango – the old-fashioned sort of dancing, in other words, where men and women dance as couples, and the women wear long dresses and the men wear dinner jackets. If you still don’t understand what I mean, have a look at the Strictly Come Dancing website, where you will find lots of photos and videos.

Strictly Come Dancing is a competition. Every Saturday evening, the couples perform their dances, and a group of judges give them points out of 10. Then the viewers are able to vote by telephone for the couple they think is best. The judges’ points, and the viewers’ votes are then combined, and on Sunday evening we hear the result. The two couples with the lowest score have to dance again, and the judges decide which of them can stay and which of them has to leave the programme. It is all very exciting. My teenage daughter, and her grandmother, watch every week, along with about half the rest of the population of England.

All the people whom the BBC invites as contestants in Strictly Come Dancing are “celebrities”. “Celebrities” means people like pop singers, actors, sportsmen or women, and TV presenters. They are people you may have seen on television, in a soap opera perhaps or on a sports programme. A lot of popular culture nowdays is about “celebrities”. There are, for instance, magazines which contain nothing except news about celebrities – who is dating whom, who is getting married, who is getting divorced, what clothes they wear and which night-clubs they go to. Perhaps it is the same in your country. Clearly, celebrities leave magic lives – they are not ordinary people like you or me.

In the present series of Strictly Come Dancing, for example, there are three sports stars, two pop singers, several stars from soap operas, a TV chef and couple of models. There is also my favourite, the incomparably lovely actress Cherie Lunghi (vote for Cherie, everyone!), and a well-known television journalist called John Sergeant. John Sergeant dances like a baby elephant. The judges give him low scores, but the viewers love him, so he has stayed on the programme.

Why is Strictly Come Dancing so popular? There are several reasons, I think. It is glamorous – people love lavish costumes and beautiful music. It is about people whom we think we know. We have seen them on TV. Their faces are familiar. They have never seen us or spoken to us, of course, but we think we know them, and know what they are like. Also, Strictly Come Dancing is a competition – there are winners and losers, and we as viewers are able to vote. And finally, we all secretly think that we could dance like that too – all it needs is a bit of training and a bit of practice.

My secret ambition is to be on Strictly Come Dancing. I think I would be very good. I would dance elegantly with a beautiful lady partner and the judges would all say how wonderful I am. The viewers would think so too, and they would all vote for me. The trouble is, you need to be a celebrity to get on to Strictly Come Dancing and I am not a celebrity. How can I become a celebrity? I have looked at the job advertisements in the newspaper. There are lots of jobs for plumbers and HGV drivers, but none for celebrities, not even for “junior celebrities” or “trainee celebrities”. Maybe, just maybe, the BBC would let me on the programme as a celebrity podcaster. Perhaps if

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