The mast was my sword and the deck was my helm As I prepared to enter the hideous monster’s realm. I stopped cursing the wind that blew me to this doom I wasn’t gonna let this ship become my tomb anytime soon. I saw him coming at me, I nearly wet myself Next to him I was nothing but a tiny little elf For my bravery I should have won medals ‘Cause I didn’t scream too loud when he showed me his tentacles.
The monster’s close, I have no plan I just wish I had a frying pan Large enough to cook the bastard And serve him up with a barrel of mustard.
I try to sober up, but there’s no chance in hell My urine’s purely rum as far as anyone can tell. There’s nothing I can do, I’m drunk as a lord Actually that might explain all these leprechauns on board. I saw him coming at me, I nearly wet myself Next to him I was nothing but a tiny little elf For my bravery I should have won medals ‘Cause I didn’t scream too loud when he showed me his tentacles.
The monster’s close, I have no plan I just wish I had a frying pan Large enough to cook the bastard And serve him up with a barrel of mustard.