MY OLD MAN'S A DUSTMAN (Buchanan / Donegan / Thorne) Lonnie Donegan - 1960
Now here's a little story To tell it is a must About an unsung hero That moves away your dust.
Some people make a fortune, Others earn a mint; My old man don't earn much: In fact he's flippin' skint.
Oh, my old man's a dustman, He wears a dustman's hat, He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat. He looks a proper nana In his great big hobnail boots, He's got such a job to pull them up That he calls 'em daisy roots.
Some folks give tips at Christmas, And some of them forget, So when he picks their bins up He spills some on the step. Now one old man got nasty And to the council wrote, Next time my old man went round there He punched him up the throat.
Oh my old man's a dustman, He wears a dustman's hat, He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat.
Lonnie: I say, I say, Les. Les: Yes? Lonnie: I, er, I found a police dog in my dustbin. Les: Well how do you do know he's a police dog? Lonnie: He had a policeman with him.
Though my old man's a dustman, He's got an 'eart of gold, He got married recently Though he's eighty-six years old. We said "'Ere, hang on, Dad, You're getting past your prime"; He said "Well, when you get to my age It helps to pass the time."
Oi! My old man's a dustman, He wears a dustman's hat, He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat.
Lonnie: I say, I say, I say! Les: Huh? Lonnie: My dustbin's full of lilies. Les: Well throw 'em away then! Lonnie: I can't: Lily's wearing them.
Now one day whilst in a hurry, He missed a lady's bin: He hadn't gone but a few yards When she chased after him. "What game do you think you're playing?" She cried right from the 'eart, "You've missed me, am I too late?" "No, jump up on the cart!"
Oi! My old man's a dustman, He wears a dustman's hat, He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat.
Lonnie: I say, I say, I say! Les: Not you again! Lonnie: My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools. Les: How do you know it's full? Lonnie: 'Cos there's not mushroom inside.
He found a tiger's head one day Nailed to a piece of wood The tiger looked like miserable, But I suppose he should. Just then from out a window A voice began to wail, It said "Oi! Where's me tiger's head?" "Four foot from his tail."
Oh my old man's a dustman, He wears a dustman's hat, He wears cor-blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat. Next time you see a dustman Looking all pale and sad, Don't kick him in the dustbin: It might be my old dad.