What can you say about a twenty-five-year-old girl who died? You can say that she was beautiful and intelligent. She loved Mozart and Bach and the Beatles. And tne. Once, when she told me that, I asked her who came first. She answered, smiling, ''Like in the ABC.' I smiled too. But now I wonder. Was she talking about my first name? If she was, I came last, behaid Mozart. Or did she mean my last name? If she did, I came between Bach and the Beatles. But I still didn't come first. That worries me terribly now. You see, I always had to be Number One. Family pride, you see. In the autumn of my last year at Harvard university, I studied a lot in the Radcliffe library. The library was quiet, nobody knew me there, and they had the books that I needed for my studies. The day before an examination I went over to the library desk to ask for a book. Two girls were working there. One was tall and sporty. The other was quiet and wore glasses. I chose her, and asked for my book. She gave me an unfriendly look. 'Don't you have a library at Harvard?' she asked. 'Radcliffe let us use their library,' I answered. 'Yes, Preppie, they do - but is it fair? Harvard has five million books. We have a few thousand.'
Oh dear, I thought. A clever Radcliffe girl. I can usually make girls like her feel very small. But I needed that damn book, so I had to be polite. 'Listen, I need that damn book.' 'Don't speak like that to a lady, Preppie.' 'Why are you so sure that I went to prep school?' She took off her glasses. 'You look stupid and rich,' she said. 'You're wrong,' I said. 'I'm actually clever and poor.' 'Oh no, Preppie,' she said. 'I'm clever and poor.' She was looking straight at me. All right, she had pretty brown eyes; and OK, perhaps I looked rich. But I don't let anyone call me stupid. 'What makes you so clever?' I asked. 'I'm not going to go for coffee with you,' she said. 'Listen - I'm not going to ask you!' 'That', she said, 'is what makes you stupid.' Let me explain why I took her for coffee. I got the book that I wanted, didn't I? And she couldn't leave the library until closing time. So I was able to study the book for a good long time. I got an A in my exam the next day. I gave the girl's legs an A too, when she came out from behind the library desk. We went to a coffee shop and I ordered coffee for both of us. 'I'm Jennifer Cavilleri,' she said. 'I'm American, but my family came from Italy. I'm studying music' 'My name is Oliver,' I said. 'Is that your first or your last name?' she asked. 'First. My other name is Barrett.' 'Oh,' she said. 'Like Elizabeth Barrett the writer?' 'Yes,' I said. 'No relation.' I was pleased that she hadn't said, 'Barrett, like Barrett Hall?' That Barrett is a relation of mine. Barrett Hall is a large, unlovely building at Harvard University. My greatgrandfather gave it to Harvard long ago, and I am deeply ashamed of it. She was silent. She sat there, half-smiling at me. I looked at her notebooks. 'Sixteenth-century music?' I said. 'That sounds difficult.' 'It's too difficult for you, Preppie,' she said coldly. Why was I letting her talk to me like this? Didn't she read the university magazine? Didn't she know who I was? 'Hey, don't you know who I am?' 'Yes,' she answered. 'You're the man who owns Barrett Hall.' She didn't know who I was. 'I don't own Barrett Hall,' I argued. 'My great-grandfather gave it to Harvard, that's all.' 'So that's why his not-so-great grandson could get into Harvard so easily!' I was angry now. 'Jenny, if I'm no good, why did you want me to invite you for coffee?' S