LukesEnglishPodcast - 72. The Cheese Episode | Текст песни

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72. The Cheese Episode

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You are listening to Luke’s English Podcast. For more information visit teacherluke.wordpress.com.

Hello, ladies and gentlemen, you are listening to yet another episode of Luke’s English podcast. I’m not entirely sure how many this is now. I’m not sure which number episode this is. I think it’s probably, sort of, late sixties, early seventies, something like that. Wow! I keep doing them! I keep…I haven’t stopped yet, certainly. I haven’t stopped yet! I know I’ve just said the word ‘yet’, which might suggest that maybe I’m going to stop. I ain’t got any plans to stop, you know. I will stop eventually. I mean, everything stops eventually, doesn’t it? I mean, one day I won't be able to do this anymore, you know, mainly because probably I’ll be dead, you know, eventually but well, I’m still alive certainly now. I’m gonna keep doing them, right? So, that’s good. I expect you are happy about that, unless you are someone, who has just started listening to this. Maybe you’ve just discovered this on the internet and you thought, ‘Omphaaaallright Luke’s English podcast…I’ll listen to that and it might be interesting’ and then you listen to this and it’s just me doing this and you like, ‘That’s rubbish! Who is he? He’s EEEEEWWW!’, you know, maybe that what you will think and…in which case as I’ve said before, you know, don’t worry, just stop listening. Maybe you can do something else like maybe, sort of, flush your head down the toilet, maybe that kind of thing could be a good idea.

Now in the last episode I set myself a challenge, which was to try and speak for 45 minutes without stopping and I thought that in this one…because it proved to be quite successful, that seemed to be quite popular episode. I got quite a few messages and things from people, who said, ‘I liked that! That was good!’, then I thought I might, as well, do another one. And it’s quite good for me because it means I don’t need to sit down for ages writing big plans of, you know, how I can teach you some vocabulary and then planning the whole thing, spending hours hours and hours doing it. I just can sit here and talk like this and it’s kind of fun. Why?! Why am I doing it? Well, I don’t know, it’s good to set yourself challenges, I think. It’s good to set a challenge for yourself.

I was wondering before if…just speaking like this means I like the sound of my own voice. I was thinking about that and, as a matter of fact…it’s not…I don’t think it’s really true. I don’t really like the sound of my own voice that much. Sometimes I listen back to episodes of the podcast and it’s pretty horrible. I’d just listen to myself and think, ‘Oh my God!’, you know, I say…I say certain things too many times in my opinion. I say ‘you know’ too much. I say that when I’m thinking ‘you know’, you know, things like that. I did it just then, you know, right? Yeah… And also I say things like ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’ as well, ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’, you know,? Which is a way of, sort of, saying something, saying a word or when you don’t know what else to say and think. So, it just comes out ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’ but if you ever listen, to kind of, professional speakers or radio presenters or that kind of person, they rarely go ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’ , do they? Really? I mean, when was the last time you heard Barack Obama going ‘eeeeeeerrrmm, you know?’ You know, he doesn’t do it because he’s a brilliant public speaker, he’s unlikely to go ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’ in the middle of the sentence, it’s not gonna sound good. He won’t get reelected if he keeps saying ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’ all the time. You know, you can imagine that, ‘So people, I’ve decided to eeeeeeerrrmm to make some new policies eeeeeeerrrmm and eeeeeeerrrmm aaaaAAAHGH!’, he’s not gonna do that because he’s professional. And since I’m just a person, I’m just a person, I’m just a man, just a human man, then maybe it’s ok for me to go ‘eeeeeeerrrmm’ from time to time.

Anyway…so, in this episode I’m gonna set myself another challenge, and it’s to speak continuously for let’s say…I’m gonna say 30 minutes. I’m not as ambitious as I was last time, maybe that’s because I feel like, ’45 minutes is a bit of a challenge!’ Actually, to be honest, eeerrm to be honest I don’t have 45 minutes, I just have limited time tonight because of reasons, ok? Which, I’m not gonna tell you about, because there are certain things I do like to keep private, ok? But I’ve given myself a 30-minute window. Emm…yeah…I’m expecting a phone call, ok? So if th phone rings, then I’ll have to answer it, ok? But, basically, the rules here - the rules for this podcast for me, my challenge is - I’ve just got to keep speaking for 30 minutes and I’ve got to keep it interesting, right? Now I’ve decided to add a few other rules: One - I’ve got to speak continuously for 30 minutes, ok? I can’t stop until it’s 30 minutes, unless I get a phone call. If the phone rings, I’m allowed to pause and then continue
e after the phone call if I want. I mean, it depends how long the phone call is. It might bet bm e a long call, in which case I’ll just go to bed and then continue doing this later on. That’s my choice. That’s my prerogative, ok? That’s my decision, that’s my prerogative. Prerogative…yeah. Justin Timberlake talked about that quite a lot, ‘That’s my prerogative’, right? That’s a Justin Timberlake impression, yep! Prerogative is like your right to…it’s like your right you have to do something, ok? Not that common a word. Maybe they use it in America more than we do. So, where was I? I was talking about rules. I’ve got to speak for 30 minutes continuously, without stopping, unless I get a phone call. Second rule is I have to try to keep it interesting. This should just…this should be interesting. I don’t want this to just be a collection of mundane…self-importance of nonsense. I’d like to make a few points as they occur to me if I can. So, it has to be interesting. Now saying that I have a kind of condition to that as well and that’s - I’m allowed to talk about one mundane topic but if I talk about something mundane, for example, if I talk about my choice of toothpaste, for example, then I have to move on to something more profound, more meaningful. So I can’t do two mundane topics in a row. I’ve got to do something mundane, followed by something profound and very interesting. If I’ve managed to make profound and interesting point, I can move on to something mundane again. You know, like, for example, the benefits of leather against plastic. You know, why leather is better than plastic. That’s just something that came to me off the top of my head. I’ve got to speak for 30 minutes. I’m already, I’m already, actually, 7 minutes in. So this is going quite well already, I must admit.

You may beg to differ. You might think this already have become horrendously boring. But that’s your prerogative…’that’s your prerogative’, right? So let me recap the rules again, just in case you haven’t gotten them. Maybe I could spend 30 minutes just recapping on the rules. I probably could but that would be a bit weird. So, 30 minutes…I’m gonna speak for 30 minutes without stopping, ok? No pausing, no kind of, going to the toilet, no sort of going out for a breath of fresh air, I can’t go and make myself a cup if tea, I can’t just stop and write something down, I can’t, for example, if I make a mistake, if I say something stupid that I regret I can’t pause, go back, edit it and then carry on. No! I’ve got just to keep speaking for 30 minutes. And…um…unless I get a phone call, in which case all better off, I can just do whatever I want. If the phone rings - I’m out. So, that’s it. 30 minutes, phone call and the other one was no pausing. So, I can’t pause for a long period of time. If there is extended pause, where I just don’t know what to say - I fail. If I fail I just…I will stop there and I’ll post as much as I manage to do up until the point where I failed. You know, I kind of worry, I worry about this podcast, I worry too much in general, I think, ‘It’s got to be perfect, I’ve got to teach things in it!’ But I do that during the day, you know, I spend all my day teaching bits of vocabulary. That’s my phone! I’ve just heard my phone ringing. Yeah, my phone is ringing. You probably cannot hear it but it is. I’m gonna pause this. I’m already cheating, I’m not cheating actually - it’s a clause, I’m coming back, all right? My phone is ringing.

Ok, so I’ve had my phone conversation and I’m back. I’m back in, I’m back into the matrix again. So, right, what was the rules of this? I can’

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