[Hook] These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink And I hope another dream don't have to fall short, just lounging in my basketball shorts
[Verse I] Look, I've finally married someone, I'm in love, I'm not alone But marriage has some struggles of its own And that creates a problem cause if I go and put that in my lyrics then my wife will be the first person to hear it I married my best friend. I've got the best friends and a stack of photos covered in some dust particles and some dead skin Sometimes I think about the baby that I used to be and how it's all just ultimately leading to my eulogy You see, life hurts like a bitch sometimes. I mean sometimes, I hate the fuckin' sunshine so I go get enough wine at one time to lay up in my confines and unwind while vibin' to some Sublime I just want to take my mind off all this angry fan mail accusing me of selling out, telling me I ran stale Getting hurt by people that I'm trying to please, apparently I need to rap while on the flying trapeze Jeez, I bought another lottery ticket tonight and out the six numbers I picked not one single digit was right But life's been so stressful that I'll be honest, the last thing I need is a hundred million dollars
[Hook] These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink And I hope another dream don't have to fall short, just lounging in my basketball shorts
[Verse II] Listen, these days my dad is my friend Last night at the Super Bowl we had martinis with gin and he told me that he thinks Beyonce is a 9.5- maybe a 10, she has really pretty skin, and I smiled I like smiling. I like fantasizing about the day I'm gonna own my own island I like fantasizing about the day that this anxiety won't constantly be turning all my skies gray Over-analyitcal, constantly self-critical, I don't need three wishes, just one: make me invisible Cause I remember days I'd get on stage to a crowd of twenty people and only five of them paid Rich kids with college degrees coming up and saying, "Fuck fame and money. Never (___?) I love your music, I downloaded all of it free. Why would you care? You're a rap star, your profit is deep." Jeez, life hurts like a bitch but sometimes I love it. Seriously, sometimes I look at my life and straight love it. But only on the days I close my eyes and say fuck it
[Hook] These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink And I hope another dream don't have to fall short, just lounging in my basketball shorts
[Bridge] And I'm looking for and I'm looking for tomorrow cause paradise is found in a bottle, paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is And the woman on the plane in front of me, she keeps farting and it smells so bad that I can't take a nap I think she's gotta take a crap but that's neither here nor there Here we go
[Verse III] Look man, I'm just searching for a pot of gold I fear the day that people say my heart has gotten cold Staring at my friends at Guitar Center, I am your broken-hearted, scarred, minner Oh shit, I'm gonna have a baby in like ten days He's gonna be my little prince, I can't wait Life is intense and you know I'm gonna take a knife when I glimpse
[Hook x4] These are the things that I think when I've had a bottle of red wine to drink And I hope another dream don't have to fall short when I'm lounging in my basketball shorts Wait, no, no These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink And I hope another dream don't have to fall short when I'm lounging in my Jayhawks basketball shorts. That's KU, by the way These are the things that I think when I've had three bottles of red wine to drink And I want a couple LA tacos and some moth