Garden party held today Invites call the debs to play Social climbers polish ladders Wayward sons again have fathers Hello, Dad, hello, dad
Edgy eggs and queuing cumbers Rudely wakened from their slumbers Time has come again for slaughter O on the lawns by still Cam waters A slaughter, it's a slaughter
Champagne corks are firing at the sun again Swooping swallows chased by violins again Straafed by Strauss they sulk in crumbling eaves again Oh God not again
Aperitifs consumed en masse Display their owners on the grass Couples loiter in the cloisters social leeches quoting Chaucer
Doctor's son a parson's daughter W where why not and should they oughta Please don't lie upon the grass Unless accompanied by a fellow May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello
Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say Beagling on the downs, oh please do come they say Rugger is the tops, a game for men they say
I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, I'm rucking, I'm fucking So welcome, it's a party
Angie chalks another blue Mother smiles she did it too Chitters chat and gossips lash Posers pose, pressmen flash
Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms Society columns now ensured, returns to mingle with the crowds Oh what a crowd
Punting on the Cam, oh please do come they say Beagling on the downs, oh please so come they say Garden party held today they say Oh please do come, oh please do come, they say.