I'd rather go home
And watch pornography alone.
I've got a big collection,
A really huge selection.
And if I'm really desperate,
I'll call my ex up,
And have sex on the phone -
It beats orgasming alone.
Porn is good for the soul,
But it doesn't mean a thing invariable
Unless you own a good dildo,
But then I bet you think I'm a whore.
Sex is a drug,
So throw me a bone.
It's so innocent,
That's why I always phone home, phone home.
'Cause I'm feeling ashamed
That I feel like a boy.
Oh, women are meant to act coy,
That's why we've got all these toys.
Porn is good for the soul,
But it doesn't always leave you feeling whole
Unless you own a good dildo.
But then you'll all think I'm a whore.
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