Mother’s pregnant in some clinic Brother Ernie is a spiv Uncle Alfred says (the cynic) We’re too Catholic to live Sister Suzy’s always praying To the statues on the shelf And I’m dangling my tootsies While I’m singing to myself
I was picked up with my dolly By a lovely gentleman He bought me an ice cream lolly Took me to the park and then He drew out his bulging wallet And he told me “Help yourself!” Soon I’m dangling my tootsies While he whistles to himself
Father’s lost a year’s remission And his moll is hopping mad Solitary’s his condition Mother’s feeling awful bad Father’s never had it better Mugs of cocoa on the shelf And he’s dangling his tootsies While he’s locked up by himself
Sometimes when the moon is rising Then I feel all queer and limp And my Bill I’m visualizing He was my boyfriend and a pimp And I dream that they will hang him And that I’ll stay on the shelf And he’s dangling his tootsies While he’s swinging by himself