H: Look at all the captivating fascinating things there are to do G: Name two. H: Look at the pleasures of the myriad of treasures we have got G: Like what? H: Look at Paris in the spring when each solitary thing is more beautiful than ever before! You can hear every tree almost saying "Look at me!" G: What color are the trees? H: Green! G: What color were they last year? H: Green! G: And next year? H: Green! G: It's a bore! H: Don't you marvel at the power of the mighty Eiffel Tower knowing there it will remain evermore? Climbing up to the sky over 90 stories high G: How many stories? H: 90 G How many yesterday? H: 90 G: And tomorrow? H: 90 G: It's a bore! H: The River Seine! G: All it can do is flow H: But think of wine! G: It's red or white H: But think of girls! G: It's either yes or no and if it's no or if it's yes it simply couldn't matter less! H: But think of a race with your horse in seventh place and he suddenly begins and he catches up and wins with a roar! G: It's a bore! H: Life is thrilling as can be! G: Simply not my cup of tea H: It's a gay romantic fling! G: If you like that sort of thing H: It's intriguing! G: It's fatiguing! H: It's a game! G: It's the same dull world where ever you go whatever place you are at The earth is round but everything on it is flat H: Don't tell me Venice has no lure G: Just a town without a sewer H: The Leaning Tower I adore! G: Indecision is a bore! H: But think of the thrill of a bull fight in Seville when the bull is uncontrolled and he challenges the bold matador! G: It's a bore! H: Think of lunch beneath the trees! G: Stop the carriage if you please! H: You mean you don't want to come? G: The thought of lunch leaves me numb H: But I implore...! G: Oh, no, Uncle, it's a bore!
(reprise) (Honore, Gaston and Honore's valet)
H: Just imagine her chagrin when she sees you wander in And you find her with that slippery senor What a moment supreme when she totters with a scream G: What will she do? H: Scream G: What did yours do? H: Scream G: What do they all do? H: Scream G: It's a bore! H: But think of the bliss of the pleasure you would miss When she topples in a heap And you leave her there to weep on the floor G: It's a bore! H: You must catch her if you can V: For the dignity of man! H: Take advantage of the chance V: You owe it, sir, to France! H & V: This is war! G: All right! But it's a bore!